A Creature I Don't Know
by circusfreak88
Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence, centering around the lives of Faith, Buffy and Giles. Rated T for themes, content and language. COMPLETE.
1. Rest in the Bed

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

1. Rest in the Bed

He found her in the hospital. Found would be the wrong word, he knew she would be there. He had managed to slip through the hospital unnoticed due to the fact that every doctor, nurse, patient and visitor were turned facing the windows watching the rapidly darkening sky. It was almost as if he had planned the solar eclipse.

He walked into her room and dropped into the chair besides her, he made little noise but he knew he hadn't escaped her notice. When she finally met his eyes, he saw they were filled with tears. She simply silently sobbed besides him.  
Let's just start again, he offered to her.  
Who won?  
Does it matter?  
It has to, she smiled blankly, otherwise what was all this for?

He had failed her, there was no escaping that fact. He had been too caught up in the lives of the others to see a girl who really needed his help, his support or simply a person to watch over her. To make sure she didn't fall through the cracks.

He took a deep breath and stepped over the threshold into her room.

She was on her back but facing away from him and, like everyone else in the building, staring out the window. She looked so small, so pale, so unlike the girl that he knew. He walked past her bed and joined her in taking in the eclipse.

"Boss said this would happen." He didn't turn to face her. He wasn't ready. Not yet. "Did you know?" She asked after he remained silent.

"Yes." He practically whispered his reply.

"What's the plan?"

"I don't know." He removed his glasses and cleaned his lenses on a handkerchief. "I didn't stay to find out."

He slumped down on the edge of the bed, careful not to disturb any IV tubes. Careful not to look at her. He wasn't ready. Not yet.

"She killed you," He heard her open her mouth to respond, but when no sentence followed he eventually continued his, "she wasn't successful." For whom he was clarifying, he was unsure. "She took the life of a human to save him."

"Wait-" she cut herself off when she noticed the tears falling down his face.

"I failed you." He managed eventually. "Let me make amends."

* * *

They spoke no more while they waited for the doctors to discharge her. Their only communication was via the many people who visited the pair. The doctors and physios wanted to make sure that he would be capable of taking care of her. Representatives from both California and Massachusetts giving them paperwork to fill out to enable him take care of her. The police came often to see if she would speak about the incident, even without the Englishman in the room she would not shed any light on that fateful night on what had been her balcony.

Finally she received other guests.

Wesley came first. He informed him that the Council's last job for him before he, too, was to be let go was to pass on their blessing for the former Watcher to guard over the disgraced Slayer.

A couple of days later Xander sat by her bed for an awkward twenty minutes. He dropped by with a couple of comics, he also gave her custody of his GameBoy while he embarked on his road tip.

Then it was Oz who came round the corner of her door, it was not until he had stepped fully through it was Willow spotted behind him. They stayed only long enough for Willow to hand over a dog-eared copy of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. She said something about broomsticks and magic wands before they departed.

Still neither Giles nor Faith had exchanged words since he'd first come to her. Daily he sat by her, leaving only for the sanctuary of his bed. Daily they said nothing more to each other.

It wasn't until she was being discharged did Buffy appear. Faith was being moved from her bed to her wheelchair by a pair of porters when she came to visit. Once she'd been settled into the chair she excused the men and asked Giles to finalise her papers.

Buffy stayed by the door. Faith tried to move her chair, trying to get to grips with the object which – the doctors said – would contain her for the rest of her life. Neither made any move to meet the other's eyes. Eventually the blonde simply left.

The options had been explained to her several times, yet as they pulled up to the Englishman's building, Faith still couldn't quite comprehend how she had got to this place. At seventeen, she had been told – over and over – she had three choices. She could have left California and Massachusetts to decide into who's foster care system she would be placed into; she could go with the Council; or she could let Rupert Giles look after her for her remaining months as a minor.

The Englishman wanted so much to take her under his wing, to fix a girl who he had helped break; he was grateful to her for allowing him that second chance. Better the devil, she simply shrugged as she signed the papers agreeing to be placed under his guardianship.

As he helped her from car to chair the pair of them, almost in perfect synch, took a deep breath; filling their lungs for what was to come.

The first week she barely left the sofa. Unable to take the stairs, unwilling to try, she set up home on the couch. It was only when she tired of his pyjamas did they leave the house. Back into her chair they went shopping. He would have given her the world if she had asked. But still they barely spoke. She wanted what she needed. Nothing more. Luxury items reminded her of what she had had, what was gone, what had been. She wanted only what she needed.

When they returned he broached the subject of the stairs, of settling into the spare room. Of settling into her room. She declined his offer of help and wheeled herself back to the sofa and lifted herself from the chair to her bed.

The subject was not raised again.

It was the sofa on which Buffy found her when she returned.

It took them ten minutes for them to meet each other's eyes. It took them fifteen before one of them finally spoke.

"How you doing?"

"I'm paralysed."

The blonde swallowed hard.

"When I fell from the roof, I landed on a truck bed." Faith swallowed the bile that was filling her mouth. "My butt broke my fall. Shattered my pelvis. Now I'm paralysed."

"I'm s-"

"No," she cut her off before she could allow her to finish her sentence, "you do not get to apologise to me." She pushed herself up and shifted the dead weight of her body. "You're not sorry and that's the difference between me and you, Buffy." Once more their eyes met, never before had her name been said by the younger girl. Never before had such hurt, such malice been placed behind her simple two syllable name. "I regret what I did. You don't. Give a thousand Buffys a thousand knives and every single one of them would have done the same." She smirked at the blonde, looking up as she stood above her, and shook her head. "Where's he now?"

The only thing Buffy could do was to leave.

"Yo, G!" Faith called out once the door had banged to a close. "I'm ready for those stairs now."

* * *

Please read and review. I would be grateful for your thoughts. Circus.


	2. The Captain and The Hourglass

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

2. The Captain and The Hourglass

While both doctors and physios were amazed by her progress, neither Slayer nor Watcher were. Her legs remained useless but her upper body strength allowed her to cope remarkably, amazing, well. Given her progress the medical staff began to speak more hopefully about her chances of walking again. Faith knew better though. Faith knew that walking again would be all to easy. Something her life had never been. She went through the motions though, she did her daily exercises and when upstairs she managed to move about using solely her arms; yet for the rest of her life she remained wheelchair bound. A fact that kept her routed to the sofa for most of her days.

Giles spoke with her about using the time – her time – to do something, anything more. He dug out a diary of a slayer from the 19th century, a diary of a girl who had been not unlike herself. She muttered something about not being big into reading and turned up the volume on the television. There book lay, undisturbed, on top of the _Harry Potter_ Willow had given her.

It was that simple action that made the Watcher smile. He watched her actions for a week. Asked her to do odd little tasks, such as read out the numbers on his credit card as he booked Olivia's room in the local Holiday Inn. She had laughed, joked about no women in America for him that he had to ship them over before chucking his wallet across the room and telling him to do it himself. He noticed how, despite having started to buy a TV guide for her, it was forever untouched.

They left early for the airport, Faith complained about only coming along so he could get a better parking space, but she complained far more when he realised they had stopped in front of an opticians.

"When was the last time you had your eyes checked?" Giles asked her as he applied the parking break. The car remained silent. "You've never had your eyes checked have you?"

"No." She crossed her arms across her defensively. "But I'm a super hero-" she rolled her eyes when she noticed Giles raised eyebrows, "-granted of the Christopher Reeves variety- but shouldn't I have, like, 20-20 vision. I mean once Peter Parker got bit by that spider he all but smashed his glasses."

"Yes," he smiled in response, "but this is real life." He got out the car, unfolded Faith's chair and met her by the passenger side. "I did not appreciate the Christopher Reeves joke by the way; that was in poor taste."

"I don't appreciate this impromptu stop at Lens Crafters on the way to pick up your booty call." She sighed as she lifted herself from car to chair. "Are there really no women in the States for you?" And with that she wheeled herself into the store.

His suspicions had been correct and after twenty minutes of bickering about glasses, not fully developed eyes, scratched retinas and contact lenses, Faith wheeled out victorious with a month's supply on her lap.

"Lets pick up Queenie!" She called out to him as he failed to follow her to car.

* * *

While Olivia was in town, Faith found her days were mainly her own. Giles too occupied to talk to her about reading about dead girls, or pestering her to look at the High School prospectuses he'd picked up from the local schools. She also found that since Xander had returned to town, a little less road weary than he'd hoped to be, he had started calling round. A lot. At first she though Giles was paying him to 'babysit the cripple' but she found that she actually welcomed his visits. He brought her graphic novels to read and she found, with her improved eyesight, that reading was not as much of an issue it once had been. Neither of them spoke about the two nights in her motel room and eventually the pain behind those delicate nights faded.

On Olivia's final night in Sunnydale before she carried on travelling, the four of them were sat around Giles coffee table playing a board game when the door went.

"Don't get up," Faith rolled her eyes, "I'll just wheel over shall I? No, no, save your legs!" She continued as she pulled open the door.

It took Buffy a moment for her eyesight to drop down to meet Faith's in the chair. "I was expecting Gi-" she stopped talking when she noticed the other three sat round the game. "You playing happy families?"

"Monopoly actually." Olivia smiled at her. Faith had to stifle her snigger.

"There's a guy mis-" Buffy had to stop once more when she realised that the forth in the room was "Xander? When did you get back?"

"About a week ago." He looked to Giles and Faith for clarification and when they both nodded, he pushed himself up and met her at the door. There was an awkward moment when Faith had to rearrange the angle of her chair so the two Scoobies could hug.

"Why didn't you call?" The blonde whispered in the boy's ear.

"Well I knew you guys were starting the whole college adventure and I didn't want to," he found explaining was hard to do when trying to ignore the hurt in her voice, "um, you know..." he shrugged, "help you move."

She pushed him away, "I've missed you."

"I'm just going to wheel away for you two to finish your High School Reunion." Faith sighed, "Hey, Olivia you got to see this awesome rock garden before you leave."

"Ripper never mentioned an 'awesome rock garden'" she smiled at him before she got up and met Faith at the door.

"Well I bet _Ripper_ wasn't mentioning much while you two were in the Holiday Inn." Faith smirked as she led the British woman out of the condo knowing that Buffy was not there to see her.

"So who's the blonde?" She asked Faith eventually when she found the rock garden was neither awesome nor much of a garden. "Another one of Rip's foster kids?"

"Foster kids?" Faith frowned up at her.

"Yeah," Olivia smiled, "I think its nice how Ripper has taken you in. You should hear the way he speaks of you, you're like a daughter to him. I can only assume the same of the blonde."

"Buffy." Faith nodded after a pregnant pause. "She was his first." she clarified softly.

When they saw Buffy and Xander depart, Faith assumed it was safe to go back in. "You not going with?" The brunette nodded back to the open door.

"She's going to have to take care of herself." He responded, picking up the dice to resume the game. "She's out of school and I can't always be there to guide her."

"No," Faith agreed as she wheeled back over to the coffee table. "but she was your first… foster kid… and as much as I don't like her, every girl needs a man in their life. Even if that means sharing mine." The last part of her sentence trailed off and was barely audible but both the adults caught it.

"Go." Olivia smiled, kneeling down and packing up the game. "Faith and I will do some girly boding stuff in your absence."

"I take it back." Faith smiled weakly. "Stay; I can't deal with girly bonding."

"Maybe not," he smiled as he stood, "but maybe she can get you to narrow down a school for your final year." He placed a hand on her shoulder and squeezed as he walked past her.

"Buffy gets all the fun stuff." She sighed as she watched him leave. "I get to go back to high school."

* * *

Please read and review. Many thanks. Circus.


	3. Mama How Far I've Come

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I've been trying to keep this cannon, however, I have never actually read Go Ask Malice, in researching it I discovered that Faith's actually older than Buffy, so please forgive my indiscretion and allow me to plead the fifth.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

3. Mama How Far I've Come

Faith had never really liked school. Not that she remembered going much in Boston. She knew that she hadn't been since being called. She wondered if school would be different now, different now that she would be able to read the board, different now that she had an adult that gave a damn.

Living with Giles was unlike anything she had known before. She was stuck in a constant state of unease though, it seemed so long since she'd shared a house with an adult. She didn't remember her father, having been brought up to believe he dead. Her first foster home she'd pushed so far back to the recesses of her memory that she wouldn't be able to tell you anything about it. There had never really been that many men in her life.

There had been Vanity her social worker and then of course there was Diana.

But there had never really been that many men in her life.

The first real adult male didn't come into her life until she'd sought out the Mayor. Richard Wilkins III. Wesley didn't count. He like everyone else in Sunnydale were preoccupied with Buffy. Richard, however, he had been a father to her.

Now there was Giles.

Giles was giving her a chance to be normal. Richard had been like a father, yes, but she was still a slayer, a super human, a freak. With Giles she could be normal. Or try at least. Her powers, while still coursing through her body, were useless now that her legs were ruined. She was just a girl now. A girl with an adult who seemed to care for her. She knew he was only caring for her to alleviate his own guilt, but given all the adults of her past, a sense of guilt seemed one of the lesser reasons not to let him.

She wheeled through the hallways of this new school, Frontier High School – Go Rockets! – she once again found herself cursing Buffy, just had to blow up Sunnydale High. Though as she continued in her search for her homeroom, she figured that she probably wouldn't have been able to attend there anyway. Too many stairs.

She didn't really like the idea of returning to school, she especially didn't understand why Giles – in his unemployed capacity – couldn't simply home school her. He'd explained something about Social Services requiring him to guarantee a proper education other wise she would be taken away from him. It was something about the way he had phrased it, taken away from him, that made her feel more at home in the Englishman's care. He wanted her. Not in a _Firecracker_ way, but in a _This is your home_ way.

Giles found his house empty in the day times. While Faith was far from back to being the noisy teenager he had first met, she was still far from quiet. He hadn't had time on his hands for as long as he could remember. Instead of finding this a pleasurable experience he found he was fidgeting. He had to work out how to watch over a Slayer who could not slay.

Every day he pushed Faith in the exercises that the hospital had set for her. He knew she lacked the belief that her legs would ever bare her weight again but he had hope for her.

When he returned home from dropping Faith off at school, he found Buffy sat outside his door going through his mail.

"Are you quite done with my post?" He sighed as he unlocked his door and invited her in.

"Well what else was I to do?" She shrugged as she lingered on the doorstep.

"Faith's at school."

"_Faith's at school?_" she tried not to laugh as she walked into his home. "Now that's something I never thought would be said."

"Its one of the conditions of her staying with me." He explained as he walked into the kitchen and moved the kettle to the hob.

"That and the not killing people I suppose." Buffy mumbled as she sat at the breakfast bar.

"Is hating her really the only way you can get past this?"

"Not hating, just-" Giles raised his eyebrows as he waited for her to continue. "She started it."

"Yes." He nodded, turning to drop two tea bags into two mugs. "That defence only works in six-year-old court. Sugar?" She simply held up two fingers. "Faith had a hard childhood. She was taken from her mother. She had no one there to raise her. Actions and consequences mean little to her, responsibility was thrust upon her by a Watcher who was, too, taken from her."

"Why are you telling me this?" Buffy asked as she picked up the tea, she took a sip, quickly put it back down and pushed it away.

"Being wheelchair bound has changed her life." He continued as if uninterrupted.

"I don't see her sending me a singing telegram of thanks."

"And she shouldn't." He watched as she quickly stood and headed to the door. "Are you at least going to tell me why you came over before you leave?"

"Demon. Last night. Made with the pummeling, but he got away." She spun on her heals and watched as he motioned for her to continue. "Had a cloak on, and glowing green eyes, and skin had a, like, super-bad fake rub-on tan."

"Translate?"

"Orange-y?" she shrugged.

"I'm not familiar with the creature, but I'll look into it and give you a ring when I've found something."

"That's all I ask." She sighed and departed leaving the man with two cups of lukewarm tea.

* * *

She didn't like school. She didn't like being the only one in a wheelchair. She certainly didn't like people talking to her. As her mind wandered in her classes she thought about all those she'd left behind on the East Coast. She knew Steve and Tommy would be taking in turns in her chair – trying to see who pick up the most speed. She knew she would have kicked their asses. She also knew that she couldn't have stayed there.

Her classes were simple. The principle had skimmed over her school records and found her grades and test scores lacking. She was placed with the remedials. The cripple with the tards. Making friends had never been so easy!

She didn't like school.

She certainly didn't like homework. She didn't like homework she didn't understand and had no chance of following. She didn't like that Giles was at a Scoobie meeting and she was forced to struggle with math while everyone else got to kill things.

The knock on her door brought her out of her thoughts. She wheeled across the room and, unable to reach the peephole, pulled open the door.

"I bring pizza." Xander smiled broadly at her.

"Do you bring math knowledge?"

"I bring pizza!" He simply repeated, rolling her backwards and walking into the house. "Where's G-Man?"

"Scoobie meeting."

"Oh." His face fell as he dropped the box on the side.

"But you bring pizza." She smiled at him.

"I bring pizza." He nodded.

"You bring pizza and then put it out of my reach!"

"Zeppo boy strikes again." He sighed moving the box and walking over to the sofa. "Fancy a made for TV movie?"

"Sounds good. I mean math can wait. When will anyone ever use math in the real world?"

* * *

The next evening Faith was once again sat at Gile's desk struggling with her math from the previous day. She was only too happy when the phone rang offering her a perfect distraction.

"Giles?"

"Guess again Red!" Faith smiled.

"Uh, Faith, yeah, I just talked to Buffy and, yeah," Faith heard her pause at the other end of the line, "I think she's feeling a little... insane."

"Like stabby insane?"

"Maybe. So I told her to come to you. Kay?"

"You what?"

"I told her to come to you. Well Giles."

"You sent a girl with a history of stabbing me to come to stab me when she's in a stabby mood?"

"When you put it like that…."

"Great." Faith hung up the phone. "ENGLISH!" She rolled over to the stairs and yelled again. "ENGLISH!" He poked his head round the edge of the banister. "Buffy's gone into stab mode and Willow sent her in my direction."

"One day someone's going to speak to me in plain English and things will get done a lot faster." He sighed as he descended the stairs. "What's happening?"

"Red said B's gone insane and she's pointed her towards us."

"You better call the boys, I'll see what I've got to contain her."

* * *

Faith was back at the desk, back with the math when Buffy walked in calling for him.

"Faith," she spoke to her like nothing had happened which took the younger girl by surprise and put her on edge, "is Giles here?"

Faith relaxed, though, as a net fell on her and Xander and Oz pounced forcing her arms behind her back.

"Everybody gets to have all the fun." She sighed as she watched Xander loop a ready made slip knot over her wrists.

"What are you guys doing?" Buffy struggled against them. "This is... this is ridiculous."

"Buffy, this hurts me more than it hurts you." Xander sighed.

"Not yet, but it will."

"I'd believe her if I were you." Faith commented from the sidelines.

"Don't say that." He pleaded between the two slayers. "Oh, please don't say that."

"We're doing this to stop you from making a terrible mistake." Giles explained to her as they moved her from under the net to a chair. "Clearly something is amiss."

"Yeah, something's amiss here, a 'Miss Kathy Newman.' Giles, ow," she glared at Xander as he tied he to the chair making sure she was secure, "Giles look in my bag. Look in the bottom pocket of my bag." They all watched as he investigated the bag. "She has parts that can grow after they're detached. She irons her jeans. She's evil. She has to be destroyed."

"I fear the demon that Buffy met in the woods," he gave the back of finger nails to Faith who quickly threw them on the ground, "has somehow possessed her."

"Lite FM. Love songs. Nothing but love songs."

"You think?" Faith asked him putting as much distance between herself and the bag of nails as possible.

"Um, you stay and watch her. I know a spell that will make the possessing demon reveal itself so that we can fight it, but I need to get some supplies from the magic shop. Buffy, I..." he gave up his fresh sentence half way through, "See you around."

"I can't believe this, after all that we've been through together and you guys won't believe me when I tell you that Kathy is bad."

"Can you believe that I don't believe you?" Faith smirked enjoying the side show.

"Shh, don't engage." Oz warned her.

"Why? She's as harmless as I am now." She smiled. "She's so much easier to talk to when she's tied up or in chains."

"Shaking the image of bondage fun." Xander sighed as they watched Buffy struggle against the ropes. "I don't know if I tightened those ropes enough."

"Then we'd better go over there and check 'em."

Xander and Faith laughed until they realised Oz was serious.

"Oh, dear god!"

"This sounds like a job for the fully functional." Faith pointed out, wheeling herself backwards.

"Avoid the legs." Xander warned as the two boys stepped towards her. "Avoid the legs."

As they leaned over her, Faith could only watch as Buffy brought up her arms, grabbed the boys and knocked their heads together. Faith could only watch as they both fell to the floor, unconscious, and Buffy tossed the limp rope onto Xander's body.

"Nope, not tight enough!" She explained to the girl as she stood.

"Buffy, don't!" Faith called out to her as she approached the door, but Buffy had already started running. Instinctively Faith went after her. She managed to get two paces away from her chair before she collapsed into the wall. "Not bad." Then she reassessed the situation when she remembered the unconscious boys and then sighted her wheelchair out of reach. "Bad." She sighed as she realised she was stuck.

"Oow," Xander pushed himself up and rubbed his head. "Why couldn't Giles have shackles like any self respecting bachelor?"

Faith was about to answer the question, or maybe even admit to needing help back to her chair, when Willow walked in.

"Guys, I just saw Kathy and she's acting..." she stopped when she saw Faith clinging to the wall for support and the boys on the floor, "Oh my God, are you okay?"

Without thinking of all that went before them, she wrapped an arm around Faith's body and took her weight. Without thinking of all that went before them, Faith let her.

"B's gone cause Xander is no good at bondage fun." Faith explained as she allowed the redhead to help her to her chair. "I managed to get a couple of paces before my body remembered I'm in the crip club."

"I'll call Kathy, tell her to get out of there." Willow sighed heading over the phone.

"No, no, you guys are right. Focus on Buffy… I just started to walk again." Faith sighed using her hands to move her legs about.

* * *

Please read and review. Thank you, Circus


	4. Night After Night

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marlingsongs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

4. Night After Night

When she told Giles about the steps she had made in moving forward he drove her straight to the hospital. The doctors watched, ran some tests and set her up in the physiotherapy suit. When she was asked to walk two metres with only the aid of a set of parallel bars Faith, having spent so long relying on her upper body strength, found it hard to put trust back into her legs.

When she'd chased Buffy her instincts had taken over, now she was having to force her brain to override the memory that her legs were broken. Eventually, the physios just devised a couple of new exercises for her to try and sent the pair of them on their way.

Faith took it harder than Giles had expected. Especially since to all intents and purposes he thought she had resigned herself to the wheelchair. What affected her most though was the doctors. They, who had been so impressed with her progress, didn't believe that she had done it. Now they didn't believe that she ever would do it.

She slipped back, so easily, into the silent girl that had first occupied his house. He worried that she might not recover.

He tried to get her to focus on other things, as he found that she returned to the sofa. He kept finding her different volumes, different pieces of history that explained her slayer lineage, showing her that she was anything but ordinary. Showing her that the doctors couldn't possibly predict what would happen with her legs given that they would have never treated a girl like her before. She simply brushed him aside and told him that if he was going to insist that she read, it should be school books given that her extracurricular activities were back out of the window.

What frustrated her most though was that the novelty of being a normal girl was wearing thin. Especially as normal girls didn't ride around in wheelchairs. She was tired of being the token disabled kid in school, tired of having offers to push her to her next class, tired of having the other kids talk to her chair rather than to her.

What really got to her though was the fact that when she lay in bed at night, she knew, she felt, her body called to her to be out there fighting the darkness. Instead she could only watch it out of the crack in her window and hope that nothing went bump.

* * *

She was back on the sofa as Giles and Xander worked around her. Tired of trying to engage her, Giles suggested that it might be prudent to simply let her sulk on her own. He regretted those comments when a cushion hit him square on the back of his head. Slayer strength, she reminded him as she channel hopped.

"I am not enjoying this." Xander complained eventually.

"Well me neither at this point in time," Giles glared back at him fighting every bone in his body not to throw the cushion back at the teenager, he swallowed his own frustrations and fought the urge to tell her to get on with her life. Instead he bit his tongue and told the boy to get on with the task in hand.

"I don't get your crazy system." He whined putting books on the shelf, just to watch Giles pulling them off again.

"System? It's called the alphabet!" Giles scolded him as he put the book in its correct place.

"Maybe you should take him to the opticians too."

"Maybe you should do something other than watch _Passions_ and help."

"Crippled remember."

"You should lock your door." All three of them turned to face the brunet at the door.

"Believe me," Giles muttered, "I'm kicking myself."

"Who you?" Faith asked turning back to the television.

"I need to talk to Xander."

"Nothing's stopping you." Faith told her flipping the channel once again.

"Xander," Faith found her view obscured by the new girl walking round and grabbing the boy by the wrist, "come with me." She ordered him pulling him out of the door.

"Who _is _she?" Faith asked again turning round enough to see them out onto the patio.

"Anyanka." Giles told her resuming alphabetising his books. "She was a Vengeance demon."

"Was? Vengence? Huh?" Faith stopped questioning when she saw a book land on her lap.

"Maybe if you did something other than watch _Passions_." Giles reiterated.

"How'd you know her?" she simply shoved the book to the side.

"She helped us defeat-"

"Defeat?"

"Defeat the mayor." His tone suddenly so much softer than it had been before. He opened his mouth to continue but found he could say nothing as he watched the young girl push her self up and stand unaided. He simply watched.

"I am trying, you know." She said simply as she dropped back down.

Neither of them said another thing to each other for the rest of the day.

* * *

Faith hated them. She hated him. She hated her. She hated herself. She hated that she didn't know who to blame, who to trust, who to hate. She wanted to be so angry with them for killing the mayor. Her Mayor. Her… The pain never lessened. Regardless of him being a giant snake in the end it didn't take away from the fact that he was the first person that liked her for her.

She wanted everything to be black or white. Good or bad.

What she hated most was the fact that nothing was that simple. The bad guys had been good to her, the good guys had treated her badly. They had left her alone on the periphery of their lives. Leaving her as the poor relation who simply didn't fit in.

"_So," she said after an eternity of silence, "the Mayor of Sunnydale is a Black Hat. That's a shocker, huh?"_

"_Actually, yeah. I didn't get the bad guy vibe off of him."_

"_When are you gonna learn, B? It doesn't matter what kind of vibe you get off a person. 'Cause nine times out of ten, the face they're showing you is not the real one."_

"_I guess you know a lot about that."_

Faith sat up in bed with a start, as she looked around the room - her room - she found her hands had instinctively gone to her stomach. She reached out to turn on the lamp, shook the covers off her with one hand, the other she knew without needing the light was trying to contain the slow loss of blood from her wound.

She pulled her hand away slowly and looked down, the bleeding was slow, it was nothing to worry about. The doctors had been telling her for weeks to stop itching it. Leave the stitches alone. Let the wound close. She found that was not something she was able to do.

Using her free hand, she swung first one leg then the other over the side of the bed and slowly, gingerly lowered herself down to the floor. She dragged herself across the room until she found a dirty T-shirt waiting to be washed. She held it to her stomach with one hand and slowly made her way back to bed.

She lay awake for hours.

Giles could hear her crying through his thin walls. He wanted so much to go out and check on the girl. He knew there would be no way she'd ever allow him to see her so vulnerable, so alone, so young. He knew it was as much as she could stand to let him see her confined to the chair.

He lay awake for hours.

Or at least he would have if he had not been pulled away from the girl in the next room by the ringing phone. He knew, by the lateness of the hour alone, that it would be Buffy.

"The Gem of Amara." He questioned as he turned on his bedside light. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah, what's up?"

"Uh, oh, it's just," he rubbed the bridge of his nose, "uh, it's not real." He stood up and took the phone across the room to one of his many bookshelves, "It's the vampire equivalent of the Holy Grail. The source of some enormous power, was conveniently vague. Oh, here it is," he narrated to her as he flicked through one of his texts, "yes. There was a great deal of vampiric interest in locating it during the, uh, oh the 10th century. Questing vampires combed the earth, but no one ever found anything. It was concluded that it never existed."

"Well, Spike seems to think it exists. And he's looking in Sunnydale."

"Yes, well I'll research it as best I can in the morning. You've done all you can for tonight. Why don't you go to bed?"

"Uh, huh. Sleepy. Yawn. Bye." He knew as she hung up the phone that she had no intention of going to bed, and he knew as he hung up the phone that his mind would not allow him the luxury of sleeping either.

As soon as he'd dropped Faith of at school he headed to the university. Parking his car, rather haphazardly, he raced up to Buffy and Willow's dorm room. He was disappointed to find only Willow there.

"You left Faith alone?" Willow frowned as she looked for a girl in a wheelchair up and down the hall.

"No." He frowned back. "She's at school. Did neither Buffy nor Xander tell you?"

"Yes," she nodded sheepishly as she stood aside, "I thought they were joking."

Once again Giles found himself swallowing words left better left unsaid and turned his attention to Willow's computer.

"I need you to help me look up the Gem, I've gotten as far as I can get with my books." She had just sat down at her desk when Buffy walked in, clearly surprised to see them both. "Oh, good morning."

"Giles, I didn't know you were here."

"Uh really." He removed his glasses and pretended not to notice that she had been in the process of undressing.

"I was studying at the library. All Saturday night." She stopped as the Englishman replaced his glasses. "Uh, you know what. I'm an adult now and it's none of your business what I do."

"I'm sincerely relieved to hear that. Now can we discuss the impending disaster?"

"Giles found something." Willow explained.

"A text." He embellished, "It refers to the Gem of Amara as residing in the Valley of the Sun."

"Demon fancy talk for Sunnydale."

"It seems that Spike may know what it's about." He continued as if uninterrupted. "The gem may exist after all, in Sunnydale, in a sealed underground crypt."

"Why don't you guys try and locate the crypt and I'll try to find Spike before he gets there."

"I'll get started." He nodded.

"I'll go call Xander and have him meet at your place." Willow smiled shutting down her computer.

* * *

Faith sat on the edge of the group as they all looked upon the ring, now safely on Giles' coffee table. She tried to take in all of the events as Xander, Willow and Oz described them. Buffy remained silent. Or at least silent to her.

"And all this happened while I was at school?" She asked anybody that would respond.

"I like it." Willow nodded.

"It's small."

"Really worth getting my ribs bashed in." Xander complained.

"See this is totally why I should be home schooled I miss all the fun." Faith sighed, folding her arms across herself.

"Its also very dangerous." Giles ignored her focussing on the other slayer. "And we're destroying it."

"We don't destroy it." Buffy responded quietly.

"Well, Buffy, any vampire that gets his hand on this is going to be essentially-" he realised what she meant and stopped talking. Instinctively he looked towards the youngest in the room. "Oh."

"I have that gig in LA." Oz told Buffy, "I could swing by."

"No." Faith said loudly and clearly enough to make sure that this time someone responded to her.

"What do you mean 'No'?" Buffy asked her standing up. "Since when did you get a vote?"

"Since I died so he could live." Faith suggested feigning thinking for a moment.

"And yet here you are talking and walk-"

"Hey guys," Xander leapt up before Buffy could say any more, "have you seen the awesome rock garden that comes with this building?"

"Awesome rock garden?" Willow joined, "I don't know the last time I saw an awesome rock garden."

"Got to love a rock garden." Oz nodded as the three of them fled the room.

Giles too retreated, but he remained on the periphery. Torn between wanting to protect the pair of them and allowing them to confront their demons of their past actions.

With the room to themselves the girls found they had nothing to say to each other.

"Screw this." Faith sighed after what seemed like an eternity of silence.

Buffy and Giles watched as the younger girl stood, took a step towards the table and fell to her knees. The sudden movement of the girl distracted the other two from the fact that she had smashed the ring under one of Giles heavier paperweights.

Buffy could only watch as Giles ran to her aid and helped Faith to her feet, to her chair, seemingly unfazed by the broken paperweight in her hand and decimated coffee table on his floor.

Buffy could only watch as her Watcher slipped further and further away from her.

* * *

Please read and review. Many thanks, Circus.


	5. No Hope in the Air

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

Disclaimer: Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marlingsongs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

5. No Hope in the Air

"Rough day?" Xander sparked a lighter in front of her face. "Come on Buff. Be a lonely drunk. Rough day?"

"Stop flicking at me."

"Work with me here. I'm finally an essential part of your collegy life. No more looking down on the townie. I'm the new bartender over at the pub. Got my lighter, my rag, my empathy face."

"Aren't you two young to be a bartender?" Willow frowned at him.

"Au contraire, mon frère."

"'Mon frère' means brother." Buffy pointed out to him.

"Mon girlfrère." He smiled at her before whipping out a plastic card. "Behold. Behold."

"I don't believe this is entirely on the up and up." Willow frowned pacing his fake I.D back to him.

"What gives it away?"

"Looking at it." She said simply.

"Well no one's going to see it anyway. Now I'm the bartender. I kick people out."

"You know there's more to it than wiping and kicking. Mixing drinks for instance."

"Well," Xander paused for a mere moments contemplation before deciding he would not be deterred. "I've seen cocktail. I can do the hippy-hippy shake."

"Well, even if I've had a pretend cigarette I couldn't tell you my pretend problems." She sighed at him. "The real ones have clogged up my headspace.

"Oh unload 'em right here, Baby. Rough day?" he sparked the lighter once more, "You wanna talk about it?" Buffy simply glared at him. "Shutting up now." he nodded when she was not forthcoming.

"I'm pregnant by my stepbrother who'd rather be with my best friend whose left me with no place to live. No food except this bottle of wild turkey which I drank all up." Xander simply stared at Willow confused. "That was me being tanked and friendless for ya."

"Gets my Oscar nod."

"You know what?" Buffy stood quickly tired of all of pretending. "It's class time."

"So are you going to come by tonight to the pub?" He asked the girls following them.

"Oz. Bronze. Date." Willow said simply before Buffy spun on her heals and stopped them in their tracks.

"I'm doing the right thing right?" She asked them apropos of nothing. "With the hating?"

Xander simply frowned hoping she would go on to explain her sudden tangent.

"Parker?" Willow offered.

"Faith." Buffy sighed.

The other two simply exchanged looks. Xander's relationship with Faith had got to a curious stage – he knew they weren't friends, but he also knew that he didn't dislike her despite all that had gone on between them before. Willow wanted to hate Faith, her sense of loyalty towards Buffy compelled her too, but she found she couldn't. The girl had held a knife to her throat, but she'd also not killed her. She couldn't say the same about Buffy.

Eventually the remainder of the Scoobies just stopped debating who was right in the Buffy verses Faith argument. Essentially because they knew that both girls were in the wrong. It was that knowledge that made forgiving Faith a little bit easier.

Xander and Willow looked back at Buffy and wondered if she would continue.

"I know that look." Buffy pointed between the pair of them as she sat back down having managed to get barely three steps away from the table before returning to it. "That's the look that tells me you think I'm wrong."

"We don't have a look for that." Willow told her defensively.

"No, we use hand gestures and occasionally Bat Signals."

"Am I the only one that's forgotten she stabbe-"

"Stabbed two people." Xander finished for her. "She also shot your boyfriend, who has a tendency to go evil and kill people, through the shoulder with an arrow."

"But so did you." Willow finished. "Well except for the evil boyfriend. Not that Angel was evil. Or not evil." She turned to Xander. "I can't remember do we like him at the moment?"

Buffy dropped her head into her hands. "People should wear badges." She mumbled into her palms.

"Badges?" the other two frowned at her.

"Yeah saying if they're good or bad."

Buffy's resolve was fading. She had been the Chosen One for so long now. It was her duty to fight the vampires, the demons and the forces of darkness. And yet there were Two.

When Angel turned it was her duty to kill him. When Faith betrayed the burden fell upon her shoulders once more. It was on her. It was always on her. She had had no choice but to kill her boyfriend to save the world. She had no choice but to kill her to save –

Faith wasn't going to destroy the world though. Faith brought no threat of apocalypse. Faith was just a pawn in the Mayor's game. She highly doubted even the Mayor wanted to bring about the end of the world. He just wanted power. Power was meaningless if without people to laud over. Power didn't exist without people to rule. No world, no people.

Faith was just a pawn.

Buffy's resolve was fading.

She no longer believed she was right. If she wasn't right, that meant that she had to be wrong. Then where did that leave her?

She thought about all that Faith had done to her. To her personally. To her friends. None of it held a candle to Angelus. To what he did to her. To her friends. To what he wanted to do. Faith may have wanted to torture her physically. But Angelus wanted to torture her mentally. Buffy had seen those results. She had seen that life.

Angelus was a demon. Angelus was ruled by the demon. His only choice was the darkness and despair that the creature fed on. Angelus was infected.

Faith was a human.

Faith had a choice. She choose the darkness. She willingly went to it. She sought the disease as if it was a cure. She should be held to a higher standard of morality. Her forgiveness had to be earned.

Buffy's wasn't the place to judge though. That was for the State of California. For the State of Man. Buffy's wasn't the place to choose who could live, and who should die. That was for the State of California.

But Faith was just a child. The State would deem her actions not her own, but those of the adults who created her. Where were they now?

"Badges." She said quietly, as she tried to rub away the confusion that plagued her head. "There should be badges."

* * *

_She took her all in. She was dressed in a similar fashion to the night they went dancing together. She remembered that night so well. It was the height of their friendship. Gwendolyn Post all but forgotten. Then… Then… She took her all in._

_You told me I was just like you. She smiled at her. That I was holding it in._

Once again Faith sat up in bed with a start, and once again as she looked around the room - her room - she found her hands had instinctively gone to her stomach. She was relieved to find that it wasn't bleeding tonight.

Using her hands she swung first one leg, then the other over the edge of the bed. She forced herself up for her legs to take her weight. There she stood. She shook. She shook so much she didn't know how much longer she could do it. The pain coursing through her body she thought she was going to vomit.

Pain.

So much pain.

But she was paralysed. She shouldn't feel a thing.

* * *

Giles heard the movement in the room next to him. As he did every night. One night he would seek out the courage to go to her. To help her. She wasn't ready for him though. Not yet.

He'd held her in an embrace, long after Buffy had fled from his home – from their home – the evening she'd broken the ring. Since then they'd hardly spoken. He'd tried to engage her, as he always did. But she had shown too much to him when she'd allowed him to hold her. She had to pull back. He knew she had no choice. If she continued to trust him, he would only leave her like everybody else in her life.

They started to communicate in different ways though. He noticed that the texts he'd started leaving around the house for her were being read. She was seeking out more knowledge of herself, of her lineage.

He'd calculated that between Kendra dying and her arrival in Sunnydale, Faith had probably only had about two months with her Watcher once she'd been called. He didn't know how long she'd had her Watcher before hand. He very much doubted that Diana had had long to teach her about her past.

He did her homework with her; tutoring her to bring her up to speed with the rest of her class and soon found that once all her previous absences had been accounted for she did rather well in school. It was this that encouraged him to leave out the diaries and the journals of previous Slayers and Watchers.

They did not speak, other than simple conversations based around food, school and _Passions_ but he knew, Faith was beginning to forgive him. To trust him. She had certainly taken to Xander again, maybe not in the biblical sense as before, but as something more. He hoped she'd found in the boy a friend.

He had no hopes for such a recovered with Buffy.

He didn't see how either girl would ever forgive the other. He had seen first hand how Buffy dealt with betrayal. How every action that was not with her was an act against her. Just proof that people would leave her. Like her father left her.

He knew that Buffy saw his actions towards Faith in such black and white terms. He knew that Buffy saw his actions as setting up home with an new woman, with a new child. He knew that Buffy saw him leaving her. Like her father left her.

He only hoped that her friends, her rocks that tethered her to this plane, would show her the way. It was his job no longer. Her actions had made sure of that.

* * *

Read and review. Many thanks for all your comments so far.


	6. Ghosts

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

6. Ghosts

She had been working with the crutches for an hour now. Giles had tired of waiting for Faith to go to him, so he went to her. He gave her something to force her onto her feet again. He'd muttered something about Thanksgiving. She'd looked at him sceptically but had received the gift nonetheless.

Standing she could do. Standing was good. Standing she found she was simply pushing herself up using her upper body strength. It was progressing from standing that she found challenging. She didn't want to wait until another time of stress to forced her body into movement. Yet she couldn't seem to get beyond standing.

With the crutches she had to fight the impulse to swing her body to propel herself forward. When she'd woken up in hospital she'd woken with feeling in her chest, arms and all above. By the time she was released she'd found she had control over everything in her torso. Something she'd been so grateful for. She would never take for granted the feeling of bladder and bowl control ever again.

However, since moving into Giles she'd found progress had not so much stalled but stopped completely. This is why, ever since she'd got up and out of her chair to go after Buffy, she pushed herself nightly.

"That's enough now." The Englishman smiled at her as he flicked off the television and held his hand out to take the crutches to put them away.

"I got mad moves, G!" She smiled back at him.

"Yes, those two steps you've made are quite impressive." He smiled back at her. "But enough now."

He didn't want her to push her body too soon, but nor did he want her to settle for a life in the chair. He was caught in a catch 22. He knew that by belittling her achievement it would push her to go further next time and thus speed up her recovery. That or place her back on the sofa for another two months before she picked up the courage again. He hoped, he prayed, he gambled that it would be the former. He remained though, forever caught between a rock and a hard place.

"Enough." He told her again, "I need to move the furniture around to set up a dining room table." She frowned at him as she reluctantly returned to her chair. "Apparently its Thanksgiving."

"Oh… I thought you were joking."

"No." He sighed. "Apparently its Thanksgiving, and apparently we're having it here."

"We?"

"Yes, Buffy and the others."

"Oh…" her face, which had had a broad smile covering it, suddenly fell. "Think I'd rather take mom passed out on the sofa while I watch the parade." She watched as the man frowned trying to make sense of the fragments of sentence she gave him. Reluctantly she gave in. "Never really had a Thanksgiving," she embellished, "but the prospect of Buffy for my first seems slightly intimidating."

"Well," he smiled at her. "I've never had a Thanksgiving either, but from my understanding of the tradition its where the American's give thanks to the Indians for feeding their British ancestors whilst pretending that they neither slaughtered the Indians nor do they have British heritage."

"Damn G, way to put a positive spin on things!"

"Pretty darn scary." The pair of them turned to the door where Buffy had appeared arms laden down with shopping. "It was more like a riot than a Ralphs. I thought I was going to have to use slayer moves on this one woman who was completely hoarding the pumpkin pie filling."

"I'm going to take this as my cue to disappear." Faith told her Watcher.

"Don't be silly." He scolded her lightly.

"No." Buffy nodded as she went to put the bags in the kitchen. "I have Thanksgiving jobs for everyone…. If you want. I mean you don't have to… I mean," she stopped to shrug, "yams."

"Yams?" The girl frowned back at her.

"Its Thanksgiving. Everyone should have yams."

"Whatever," Faith shrugged. "I'm not lookin' to hug and cry and learn and grow…"

Those words.

She regretted them as soon as they'd come out of her mouth. She hadn't meant to say them. She'd meant the sentiment but by using those words she'd just become a parody of herself.

Or did she mean them this time?

She watched as Buffy opened her mouth but when no words followed Faith simply wheeled away, muttering something about making the most of not having to use a Shewee.

Giles removed his glasses, rubbed the bridge of his nose and then removed a handkerchief to clean his lenses. He too opened his mouth, but found no more words were forthcoming from his lips than had come from Buffy's. In the end he just gave up.

"At some point," he grabbed the day's newspaper from the sideboard, "you are going to tell me about the murder?" he asked her passing over the article he'd circled.

"Oh, right." She shook her head and tried to focus. "The knife was some sort of Indian artifact." She told him in monotone as if she had gone into auto-pilot. "Chumash, I think. That's all we got."

He placed an hand on her shoulder, "She'll come round." Giles told her with no conviction behind his words, she simply shook his hand away from her and started routing about his cupboards. "But for now, Chumash Indians! They were indigenous to this whole area."

"That's interesting."

"Then, of course, the murder weapon might have just been a convenient choice."

"Uh-uh. There was a big ol' scissors lying right there. That knife was picked for a reason." She pulled her head out of his cupboard and stood up tall again. "Do you even own a turkey pan?"

"Tell me again why we're not doing this at your house."

"Giles, if you would like to get by in American society, then you are going to have to follow our traditions. You're the patriarch. You have to host the festivities, or it's all meaningless."

"And this is in no way an elaborate scheme to stick Faith and I with the cleanup?"

"Well Faith maybe," she smiled guiltily.

"I heard that." Faith told her as she emerged back into the living room and moved herself from chair to sofa, seamlessly turning the television back on as she did so. Giles glared at her. "Parade's on." she shrugged. "It's a tradition. And seeing as mom's not here I'm going to raid your liquor cupboard and pass out drunk on the sofa."

"How about that ceremonial knife, huh?" Buffy chimed in quickly. The difference between her own upbringing from Faith's suddenly all too apparent for her to deal with. "Pretty juicy piece of clueage, don't you think?"

"Yes, all right," Giles sighed, turning away from the girl in front of the television. "I'll look into the Chumash connection and see if there's any ritual significance to the ear removal."

"Thank you." She nodded, looking around the kitchen once more. "I still need to pick up a few things, so I'll check in." With that she skirted round the man and out of his kitchen, she was at his front door before she turned back and pointed at him: "And keep your hands off the food."

"Oh, I'll try and restrain myself from eating uncooked potatoes and cranberries."

"I make no such promises." Faith called out to her as she heard the older girl leave.

Barely two minutes seemed to have passed before a knock on the door interrupted the silence that suddenly filled the house.

"Should give that girl a set of keys."

"Knocking," Giles sighed, ignoring the girl on the sofa, as he walked round to the door, "that's new."

"Who is it?" Faith called out still not bothering to turn from the parade.

"Carollers." Giles mumbled as he pushed the arrival back into the sunlight and closed the door behind the pair of them.

He watched Angel smoke briefly before he could move into indirect light. Giles folded his arms across his chest and stared down at the cowering man, as if asking him to challenge him on his actions.

"You don't get Thanksgiving carollers." Was all the vampire was able to reply with.

"No. Nor do you get invited in." The Englishman responded curtly. "You have one minute and believe me, without Buffy here, there is nothing stopping me from pushing you back into this _glorious _November sun."

"Buffy's in danger." He said quickly. "A friend had a vision."

"Buffy's a Vampire Slayer - she's always in danger." He walked to within an inch of the sweating vampire. "I have a scared girl in there who died for you. I have a scared girl out there," he gestured towards the street Buffy had disappeared down, "who killed for you." He stepped closer still and grabbed the weakened beast by the scruff of his collar and pushed him hard against the wall, pinning him there by keeping his forearm pressed against his neck. "You are not welcome here."

"Buffy's in danger." Angel repeated urgently.

"To paraphrase a friend of mine;" Giles let go of him and stood back once more, it was hard for him not to enjoy having power over the dead man. The man that killed his lover, tortured him and ruined two young girls' lives. "We'll find, she'll slay, we'll party. Now I suggest you leave before I turn you to dust." With that Giles abandoned the old man to the daylight.

"You don't get carollers at Thanksgiving." Faith told him as he walked back into his home.

"Must have been Jehovah's Witnesses then." He shrugged. "Now you can at least be useful while you rot in front of that box and peal potatoes while I look into the Chumash tribe?"

Faith watched the parade in silence, potatoes in hand, as the man periodically read aloud from whatever tome he had in front of him. This was to be her second winter in the sun. She hadn't always lived in Boston, when she first left she'd been forced to take the long road to California crossing through some, if not all, of the southern states as she tried to loose Kakistos. However, this was to be only her second winter out of New England.

Last year, she'd missed the parade – the set in her room had broken or the channel it was on wasn't working, she couldn't remember – she'd missed the parade. Home, Boston, her family, was never something she tried to think about much and yet every year she'd watch the parade. One of her mom's deadbeat boyfriends had taken her to Manhattan when she was four or five. She didn't remember why, she just remembered the parade.

Buffy returned and busied herself in the kitchen, while she and her didn't speak both of them seem to have drawn a truce for the day, maybe it was just the fact that they both wanted to stay out of Willow and Giles' argument about how to deal with the Ghost of Thanksgiving Past. When Xander forced Faith off the sofa and into her chair she found she too was in the kitchen, helping prepare the food with Buffy, as the three Scoobies and the new girl spoke about syphilis.

Faith, who had been forced to learn to cook from a young age found she was showing Buffy how to do everything; even to the point of how to mash potatoes with just a fork.

As the argument escalated in the main room Faith was releived to hear another knock at the door. She briefly scanned the room to see who was missing, assuming it to be Oz, who – she noted – had been conspicuous in his absence, wheeled round the debaters to the front door.

She pulled open the door and found a man under a blanket, slowly smoking in the autumn sun. She smiled as he leant against the force keeping him out of her home, trying to find someway through to get out of the daylight.

"Which one of you ordered flame grilled vamp?" She called out to the room behind her.

"Invite me in." he hissed at her.

"God, you're not another one of Buffy's are you?" She looked down at him disgustedly.

"World of no." Buffy said, joining Faith in blocking the door. "Has no one ever told you that sunbathing is dangerous?" she asked Spike.

"Look, invite me in before I completely parboil! I'm safe." He added when neither girl said anything. "I can't bite anyone." He looked up at the growing crowd in the doorway, "Willow, tell' em what I did."

"You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy." Willow nodded, looking over Faith's shoulder at him.

"Are you really not going to stake him?" Faith questioned watching Buffy enjoying tormenting him.

"Let's skip that part and get to the part where I couldn't bite your friend!"

"What kind of fakey vamp are you?" Faith frowned at him.

"Who _is_ this giant rollerblade?" Spike asked turning his attention solely to Buffy. "Look!" he growled at the blonde starring down at him, "Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore. I can't bite anything. I can't even hit people."

"Spike?" Faith qestioned turning to look for Giles, "William the Bloody?" He simply nodded down at her.

"I've got information." Spike pleaded as the door was about to be shut in his face, "About the soldier boys you were fighting. Got the inside scoop. Come on, what have you got to be afraid of?"

"There are soldier boys?" Faith frowned again. "How much am I not being told? I hate being the girl you only keep around for parking spots."

* * *

Faith circled the new arrival as Buffy tied him to one of the dinning room chairs Giles had produced from somewhere. She looked at him sceptically, she'd read about his exploits – especially after what the others had said about him and his pursuit of undead jewellry – but she hadn't expected him to be so bleached.

"Bloody hell, woman. You're cuttin' off my circulation. And you," he stuck out a leg to block Faith's chair, "stop spinning you're making me dizzy. God, no wonder Angelus was so antsy all the time – wheelchairs are bloody annoying."

With the mention of that name Buffy, almost, instictively pulled at his ropes tighter as both slayers stared at him. "You don't have any circulation."

"Angel made you didn't he?" Faith asked him curiously.

"Faith, leave it." Giles told her worried about how long the girls would continue to be civil to each other if Angel was the topic of conversation. He still hadn't replaced the coffee table from the last time. "We have more important things to worry about."

"I came to you in friendship." Spike addressed the room, all simply looked at him doubtfully. "Well, all right, seething hatred, but I've got useful information, and I feel I'm being mistreated."

"So spill about seeing soldiers." Faith shrugged at him.

"Who made her Queen of Everything? She's stolen your crown Blondey." He smiled at Buffy, "Besides I'm too hungry to remember everything."

"He's annoying why aren't we staking him?" Faith asked anyone who would listen, but found the room had returned to the way it was before Spike's arrival. Buffy had returned to the kitchen with Anya acting as sous chef. Willow and Giles were still arguing about how to deal with the Native American guy and Xander was back on the sofa.

Faith simply stared at the new man. Even as the Willow, Xander and Anya left to go to the university, for a reason she hadn't been paying attention to, she simply watched the vampire.

"What happens to vampires who don't get to feed?" she asked him eventually.

"Living skeletons, mate." He sighed at her. "Like famine pictures from those dusty countries, only not half as funny. Who are you and why won't you go play with the other boys and girls?"

She slapped him round the face, which brought attention to the pair of them from Buffy and Giles, "Watch your tongue Deadboy," she glowered at him, "Buffy might be fang whipped but I'm not."

"That's all very interesting, Pet, but you're still not telling me who you are."

"Faith, the Vampire Slayer."

Spike simply burst out laughing.

Faith had grabbed a carving knife from the newly laid table and had it at the dead man's chest before Giles could grab her chair and wheel her away from him.

Buffy handed him a cup of gravy and a straw to drink it with to shut him up as Giles wheeled Faith down the corridor to the bathroom.

"Leave him." He warned her as he closed the door behind them.

"What is it with you guys and the Friends of Vampires club you all are in?"

"Trust me, I am anything but a friend to vampires." Giles told her. "If only you knew. Now leave him." Faith opened her mouth to object but shut it quickly when she heard pandemonium break out down the hall. She watched as he pulled open the door and surveyed the situation. "Wait here." He advised before going out and joining the chaos that was developing.

Faith managed to sit, almost, still in the bathroom, unsure of what use she would be to anyone while she was still stuck in the chair, until she heard Spike screaming about a bear.

"Sod this." she muttered, tired to being the cripple in the corner and kept out of the fray. She pulled open the door, wheeled down the short corridor and found her living room filled with Native Americans… and a bear. "What the hell?" she grabbed the nearest object to hand, one of Giles' letter openers, and threw it at the bear's back.

She watched as it spun through the air, she watched as hit pierced the big beast's skin and she watched as everything vanished leaving only Buffy and the two Englishmen.

"Is Slaying a Paralympic sport?" She asked as the others rushed through the front door and tried to make sense of what happened. "Is it dinner time yet?" she asked rolling towards the table. "Or do we have to wait for Oz to arrive?"

"So close to the perfect dismount." Buffy sighed going to the kitchen to put the food into dishes.

* * *

Its surprisingly hard to sequway a charicter into a scene they weren't in. When I wrote AVDC (which I can't continue because someone has taken TwizTV down) I used to write almost exclusively from the scripts, but I never had such trouble placing people into scenes they weren't written as I just have with Faith.

Please read and reveiw, many thanks, Circus.


	7. All of My Rage

Summary: For this chapter I strongly recommend you rewatch/find a synopsis of SOMETHING BLUE (4.09) Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

I also tweet; if that's your thing circusfreak88

* * *

7. All of My Rage

Faith woke up to find Giles sitting on the edge of her bed and a cup of tea resting on a coaster on her bedside table. As she got used to the new morning, she ascertained that this must have been what it was like for most people growing up. A parent helping them get ready for the day, making sure that they slept well, making sure that they were well, period.

She picked at the tea, sniffed it, before gingerly taking a sip. She quickly placed it back beside her. She smiled at him though, grateful for the thought.

When Giles was satisfied that the teenager was fully awake he turned to her. "Where would you like to begin?" he eventually asked. She looked at him uneasily before he elaborated. "It seems Spike will be staying in our bathtub for the foreseeable future." Faith opened her mouth, but quickly thought better of it. "This means Buffy will be spending more time here."

He allowed her a moment to process everything he had said.

"Buffy thinks Spike can help us, this means that if you could refrain from killing him I would be very grateful."

"Do I at least get to play bad cop?" she muttered with a role of her eyes.

However, Giles simply continues with his train of though as if uninterrupted. "I hope that you know that you are part of this odd little family that we have-" he held his hand up as he sensed further obstruction, "but alas I don't think you do." He removed his glasses and dropped his head into one of his hands. "Our actions, my actions, have not always been to you as they should have. For you to be part of the team you need to know everything. So," he lifted his head up and replaced his glasses, "where would you like to begin?"

He started from the beginning and spoke to her more candidly than he ever had before, he told her of most of the crucial elements of Buffy's time in Sunnydale, filling in the blanks and replacing fiction for fact. He explained to her how Kendra had died and how Buffy had died before her. He told her the stories, explained about his – their past – in a completely different way from Diana. The fact that it was him telling her made it seem so much closer; making her feel closer as a consequence.

After she had showered, dressed and met Giles at the foot of the stairs where he handed her her crutches. She managed to get to the desk where he rewarded her with a cup of coffee. She progressed further to the sofa where he rewarded her with more of her history.

He told her everything about Angel and Angelus that he knew; he told her how Jenny had died, how he had been tortured but also how Angel had worked tirelessly to protect Buffy and the world as a whole. He explained about Spike, his rather chequered history, his love for Drusilla and how he had actually helped Buffy kill Angel.

It was as he was beginning to try and explain the soldiers, with the little information that he had, did the Englishman start to falter.

"Alright, I'm in." She told him. He leant forward to hug her, but pulled back all too quickly. He knew she was so very different to Buffy, he would be a fool to treat them the same. Besides, it would just belittle the relationship that had started to grow between them. "Might take me some time to trust B, though."

"That's understandable." Buffy responded walking through the front door and towards the pair.

"Do you ever knock?" Giles asked rising from the sofa, taking the pigs' blood from her and into the kitchen.

Buffy took his place on the couch. "I'm trying to deal. This is big. You. Here. In this house." She put a hand over Faith's mouth to stop her from saying anything. Faith recoiled from the contact. Buffy tried to ignore that fact as she tried to continue. "We have issues. We have more issues than an episode Real Housewives. But," she swallowed hard, "we can do this."

Faith waited a moment, looking all around her face. "Anymore?" Buffy shook her head. "I did stuff. You did stuff. But your stuff has me sitting out this season through to injury. I'm not ready to trust you."

Giles watched the exchange between the two slayers from the kitchen, as he heated up Spike's blood. It was going to be a long day.

* * *

Faith made both Giles and Buffy promise, a promise that she didn't think either would actually keep, that she was to be included in everything. Including speaking with Spike. Giles hadn't been too keen on that plan, but Buffy actually liked the idea of having Scary Slayer to her Sane. However, when it became apparent that Spike wasn't going to tell them anything useful Faith proved to be a less than useful asset to the team. Buffy found that Faith's stint on the sidelines had left her even more gun happy than she had been before.

The three of them abandoned the old Englishman to the tub and found Willow pouring over the books, when she suggested a Truth Spell the three simply looked at each other wondering why they hadn't thought of that.

It was agreed that the two girls would return to campus, Faith would force Giles to watch _Passions_ and they would continue with Spike the following day.

However, when Willow never arrived to perform the Truth Spell, nor the next day, Giles ended up leaving Spike to Faith as he went in search of the young witch.

Faith managed to wait a full five minutes after Giles' exit before heading into the bathroom and seeking out the vampire.

"So they've left me to Baby Sis have they?" he asked her.

"Laugh it up, when I'm out of this thing I will be wearing your balls for earrings."

"You've got spunk. I like it." He smiled back at her. He leant forward until til he was as close to her as the bath and his chains would allow. "I will eat you."

"What ever Billy Boy. When Red gets here you'll be singing like a cannery and then I will run wood through your chest." She too leant forward so they were practically nose to nose. "I'm a little out of practise so I might miss a couple of times first. Shouldn't hurt. Too much." She rolled herself backwards and headed back out of the bathroom. "Like shooting fish." She called out to him as she went back to settle in front of the TV.

"SO, YOU JUST WHEELED IN TO TORMENT ME?"

"WHAT DID YOU THINK? WE'D BRADE EACH OTHER'S HAIR AND TALK ABOUT BOYS?"

"SLAYERS!" he managed to roar out before she drowned him out with the noise of the television.

_Passions_ was well and truly over by the time Giles returned with a brown bag and some 'funky smelling 'erbs' as Faith called them.

She watched as Giles dithered about with Spike, moving from him from tub to floor and then continue to struggle as he tried to start the spell. Playing with his glasses even more than usual.

"You wanna wait for Red?" Faith asked as she watched him drop his entire handful on the floor and then struggle to retrieve it.

"Yeah, I don't want you turning me into a toad." Spike warned him as he shifted his weight about on the carpet.

"Would help with your stink though." Faith told him, before looking back at Giles. "Seriously, dude, you okay?"

"Dude?" Giles questioned before shaking his head. "I've just got some ash in my eye."

"Uh huh." She nodded sceptically. "And I'm faster than Tyson Gay." She wheeled out to the kitchen and dampened some kitchen towel before returning to him. "Erm where's Billy?" she asked as she handed over the paper.

"There." He pointed blindly as he dabbed his eyes.

"And I'm calling B." Faith mumbled.

* * *

Giles hadn't stopped cleaning and recleaning his glasses by the time Buffy returned, with Spike in tow, while Willow brought up the rear.

"Thanks for coming Red," Faith wheeled over to her, ignoring the bickering Slayer and Vampire, "I know you're dealing with all this wolf crap but Giles' being odd and not like _old man odd_, but _odd odd_ and well you're normally the one who can deal with this."

"Yeah," she sighed, "I'm Deal Girl. Where is he?" Faith pointed upstairs and followed her to the foot of them watching as she ascended to the second floor and returned back less than a minute later. "He's fine," she shrugged.

"That's it?"

"You walk up there and see then!" Willow snarled under her breath as she passed the girl.

Willow missed Faith get up from her wheelchair and climb the stairs.

"GILES!" Faith yelled when she realised where she was.

"What?" he snapped as he poked his head out his bedroom. "What the hell?"

"Uh huh!" She nodded, "Right there with you." She was routed to the spot, terrified of moving in case she lost balance and landed head over heal at the bottom of the stairs.

She plucked up the courage to look over her shoulder though and found Willow and Buffy staring up at her. She realised that she had probably yelled for the Watcher pretty loudly.

"We should take her to hospital and see what the doctors say." Buffy said after a while.

"No, last time we did they didn't believe me."

"You've done this before?" Buffy frowned at her, Faith simply rolled her eyes at the blonde. "Fair point." She conceded realising she knew nothing about the girl.

"Kiss and make up, much." Willow muttered climbing back down the stairs and wandering off.

However, had she have stayed she would have seen the older slayer close the gap between herself and Faith, pull the younger girl in closer and kiss her. Faith's skin was on fire with the touch. It remained so even when the blonde pulled away.

"We cool?"

"We're good, B." She smiled back, "We're the Chosen Two."

Giles stood there motionless, his even with his ever decreasing sight he saw that.

"_You don't see a thing_." He repeated to himself. "_Kiss and make up_." He gingerly approached the two girls, he tapped Faith on the shoulder, drawing her away from Buffy, hoping she would stop kissing her for long enough to be able to answer his simple question:

"What did Willow say to you before you climbed the stairs?"

* * *

Willow shoved a cookie in Spike's mouth to get him to stop talking about Lusty Lesbians III before she went out to the garden to find Faith. She found her as far away from the house as possible without being on the sidewalk. She found her back in her chair.

"You okay?"

"Fine." Faith told her curtly before wheeling away.

It had all been a lie.

* * *

Please read and review, I read every one and they shape the way I write. Many thanks to you all.


	8. I Speak Because I Can

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but I'm trying to rectify that.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

8. I Speak Because I Can

She lay in the bath and watched her toes move about the bubbles. The water was as high as the bath would allow and as hot as she could stand. It seemed forever since her last bath.

One of his old records was blaring from the next room; she didn't know the band but she had been drawn to the design on the sleeve. She had not been disappointed by her selection.

She lay back and simply enjoyed the empty house.

Spike had been pawned out to Xander, Giles had gone to the train station to pick up Olivia. Faith simply lay in the bath and wriggled her toes. Maybe not all of them, but enough of them to bring her hope.

Giles had explained that there was no way that Willow was powerful enough to get her to walk again; Faith had walked on her own. Faith knew that he was lying. Giles knew that she knew. Neither of them said anything though, they both simply worked harder to have back on her feet.

As she lay in the bath she thought about Willow. She watched her toes move, disturbing the bubbles as they went, and thought about all that had happened that day.

She wanted to forgive the girl for it. It was her that enabled Faith her great strides and yet she couldn't forget what had happened between herself and Buffy. She dunked her head under the water, hoping that when she resurfaced she would be reborn; that the kiss would be washed away.

She pushed herself up onto the side of the bath, slowly moving one leg out and dropping her foot onto the cold tile before pulling her weaker leg after it. She grabbed the towel from the rack and wrapped it around her naked form. She couldn't shake the memory, the touch, the closeness of the other girl; the fact that they had been together again.

She shuddered as she tried to move across the room unaided. It had all been so real. She unlocked the bathroom door and pulled her self down the corridor, using the wall as a crutch and dragging her weaker leg behind her.

"Could you guys at least wait til I've gone to bed before you do that?" she asked the British pair as she removed the needle from the record bringing and odd silence back to the house.

"Um, well." Giles pulled away from Olivia and discovered Faith in a towel that barely covered her modesty.

"Faith." Olivia beamed at her. "You're standing!" She crossed the room to hug the teenager but then thought better of it. "When you're dressed we'll say hello properly."

"S'okay." Faith smiled uncertainly at the woman as she grabbed her crutches from the side. "I'm off to bed anyway." She slotted her arms into the supports and gripped the handle forcing her weight onto the aluminium frames. She slowly made her way across the room, moving the crutches to match her slow and methodical steps.

The two adults watched as she dropped down to the bottom step, resting the crutches back against the wall, and used her upper body strength to climb the stairs.

"You two try and keep the noise down, it's a school night." She called down to them from the second floor, sure that they had already resumed kissing.

* * *

She rose before them both and smiled when she found the downstairs in disarray, she moved Olivia's bra from the sideboard and flung it to the sofa using just the tip of her crutch. She was pleased to see that, not only had the bra got to the intended destination, but that she also hadn't lost balance putting all her weight onto her left and weaker side. She smiled down at the crutch supporting her weight thinking that she might not need it that much longer.

She had the kettle whistling and coffee brewing by the time the two adults emerged.

"Nice bed hair." She told her Watcher before realising that she hadn't said a thing. She shook her head and repeated it. Her lips were moving but there was no sound.

She watched as Giles tried to reply and the same thing happen. They both turned to Olivia.

"What?" she asked them. But there was no sound from her either.

Giles went to the phone and automatically dialled the number of Buffy's dorm room. It wasn't until he heard the line connect and tried to speak before he realised what a fruitless effort that had been. When he was sure that no sound was coming from Buffy's end either he hung up.

Faith gestured to him trying to ask him, with only her arms and eyes available to her, what they were to do. Giles simply shrugged as Olivia looked lost between them. Faith suddenly started frantically clicking to get the attention of the pair before pointing over to her school bag. It took Giles more time than he was proud of to work out what she was saying. He simply shook his head. There would be no school today.

* * *

Xander arrived first, bringing with him Anya and a very disgruntled Spike. Spike let out a barrage of silent British profanities and went to extinguish his burning flesh. Olivia looked at the man on fire, amazed that no one else seemed to care or were particularly surprised, and tried to say something and Xander tried to respond but eventually both just gave up. As the vampire drowned his burning flesh Giles changed his tact in research. Faith didn't like the look on his face once he'd discovered that it wasn't just humans the silence was affecting.

Olivia returned to her glass of whiskey and Xander settled himself down on the sofa with Anya, changing the channel on the television from reruns to the local news. Faith looked over Giles' shoulder as he sat at his desk and read the notes he'd made so far:

_Can't even shout, can't even cry_

she pointed to the words on the page. _Buffy had a dream _he wrote besides her finger. She looked him in the eyes and tried to gage what that meant. He simply drew a question mark.

She looked around the room of people; Anya sat close to Xander, his arm wrapped around her protectively, Olivia starring sadly out of the window clearly out of her depth. Even Spike looked a little lost as he searched the kitchen for something to drink.

She grabbed her crutches and limped over to him, tapping him on the shoulder once she was close enough. He turned to face her, cup of blood in his slightly charred hand. She looked between his hand, his drink and then back at Olivia. She was out of her depth. She pointed at the woman, then back to him and shook her finger. He looked confused before she mimed a couple of fangs too. It took him a coupld of moments before he cottoned on and downed his blood, a feat that made Faith's own run cold. He refilled his mug with coffee from the pot and winked at her before joining the others in the main room.

Faith was still in the kitchen when Buffy and Willow arrived. She looked out and watched Giles embrace his first charge, visibly relieved that she was okay. By the time she had manoeuvred herself herself into the living room Willow was wiping away her message to Giles on her white board. In its place she scrawled

_You're up _

Faith merely nodded and returned the redhead's anxious smile. She had no time to communicate any further with her, however, as Xander furiously snapped for everyone's attention as Anya turned up the volume on the television.

_We have this breaking news item from Sunnydale California:  
Apparently the entire town has been quarantined due to an epidemic of - as strange as this may sound -_ _laryngitis. It seems the entire town has been rendered unable to speak. There is no word yet what might have caused this or what other effects might be seen from this epidemic.  
Local authorities have issued a statement - a written statement, I should say – blaming recent flu vaccinations. A few sceptics call it a city-wide hoax. In the meanwhile, Sunnydale has effectively shut down; all schools and businesses will be closed for the time being, and residents are advised to stay home and rest up. The Center for Disease Control has ordered the entire town quarantined - no one can go in or out – until the syndrome is identified or the symptoms disappear.  
We'll bring you more on that as it develops._

Faith threw a cushion at the television and let out a silent laugh.

* * *

She was shocked when she heard footsteps coming down the stairs, she had been unsurprised that she'd been unable to sleep and found herself back downstairs by very early morning. She returned to her reading, alternating between her English assignment and an old slayer diary when she tired of Dickens. The sound of footsteps coming down the stairs made her jump.

Olivia smiled guiltily at the girl on the sofa and raised her hand to apologise for disturbing her and showed her the empty glass. Faith merely nodded and returned to her reading. It wasn't until she saw Olivia in the corner of her eye did she look up again. She watched as the woman pulled back the curtains to look out at the night. She watched as the woman silently screamed and dropped her newly filled glass.

Faith rose slowly and limped over to the woman, hopping on her strong leg and dragging her weaker. She took one look up and down the street and saw the pale men, skeletal men all around, as well as the assortment crazy hunchbacks, before snapping shut the curtains once more. She gestured madly for Olivia to go back upstairs with one hand as her right instinctively gripped the window sill. Her knuckles turned white. The night was calling her to fight.

* * *

She wasn't entirely sure why Giles had decamped everyone to one of the empty lecture halls, but she slumped herself down into a seat behind Buffy and Willow nonetheless. Her eyes travelled around the university room, wondering what it would be like to go to college, she watched as Xander dropped the blinds and Giles readied the projector. Her thoughts were pushed aside when her wandering eyes fell upon Buffy's dry wipe board

_I kissed riley  
last night on patrol_

it read.

Willow was half way through her reply when Giles brought the room's attention back to him by turning up the volume of old portable tape player. Faith never followed his presentation though as her eyes remained forever on Buffy's whiteboard.

_I kissed riley_

She was pulled back into the room when Giles flicked the lights back on, she shook her head and looked around. She found Buffy, trying to silently issue orders. I'll do this. You do that. I'll kiss the boy. I'll save the day.

She grabbed her crutches, pulled herself up and walked over to her. She took her by the arm and pointed to her own chest, pointed to her eyes and then back to Willow. Buffy simply pointed to on of Faith's crutches. Faith dropped the left and wielded the right like a baseball bat. Buffy smiled at her and leant forward, Faith pulled back before she could be pulled into a hug though. Buffy merely nodded.

She would patrol. Faith would look after Willow.

Faith had so many questions for the young witch.

* * *

She sat on Buffy's bed, her legs outstretched in front of her while Willow worked on a paper, constantly tapping away at her laptop, on her own. Every so often Faith would turn to her and voice her questions to her. Every time she stumbled and stuttered over the phrasing. Every time she was so grateful Willow couldn't hear her.

She inhaled heavily and grabbed her crutch. She used it to close the gap between them and poked her in the leg with its tip. She watched as Willow played about with her computer for a little while longer, clearly saving her work, before she turned to her. She found Faith was holding a piece of paper with

_how strong are you?_

written upon it. She frowned and flexed her muscles. Faith shook her head and drew a witches' hat upon her paper. Willow merely shrugged. Faith pointed to her legs. Willow shook her head. Faith was working up the courage to ask her about the kiss. Wanting to know how much of it was real and how much of it was just of her making. Would Willow have been able to get them to kiss if there was nothing behind it to play upon?

She was writing and rewriting her question. Trying to work out how to phrase it when Willow suddenly jumped up and headed to the door. Faith balled up the paper and shoved it in her pocket before getting up. By the time she had got to the door Willow had been knocked to the floor by another girl.

Looking down the corridor she saw two of the Gentlemen floating towards them. She threw her crutches down and pulled the pair back into the room with her, shutting it quickly and throwing her weight behind it. The other two followed her lead and joined her in pressing their bodies against the door. Willow saw how Faith's legs gave out from under her and dropped her head as the brunette fell to the floor, her back still firmly pressed against the door.

Faith looked up at the two girls and shrugged. Got a better plan? she mouthed at the pair of them. She laughed to herself as she caught them holding hands. Suddenly everyone's a lesbian, she whispered despite the fact that no one could hear her.

* * *

As Giles drove Olivia to the airport so she could catch her flight home, to put as many miles between herself and everything that had happened. Faith left Spike alone in the flat, knowing that both _Passions _and the midday sun would keep him confined to the house.

She grabbed a couple of coins from the plate on the side table by the door and walked slowly to the bus stop. Her legs were doing better they were on fire from the pain and the punishment she was putting them though. She knew that meant that they were healing. Pain was good. It was when she didn't feel a thing she worried. Pain was good.

She rode the elevator with a couple of other students up to the girls' dorm room. Now she had her voice back she would talk to Willow. Find out what had happened. Find out how much had been real. Her legs were roaring with pain. This was real. Willow couldn't have done all this.

She walked slowly to the girls' dorm room and found the door open. She peered through and saw Buffy on her bed and a boy on Willow's.

_I kissed riley_

It had all been a lie.

* * *

Hope you're all following my train of thought... hope you're all enjoying. Please read and review. Many thanks.


	9. Cross Your Fingers

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but I'm trying to rectify that.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

9. Cross Your Fingers

Two.

She had been stood on the periphery of their conversation, since they were finally able to begin it. Neither of them had noticed her. Both of them too caught up in each other. That suited her just fine. She was happy just listening; she was finding out so much – getting to the bottom of the soldier boys, about Riley and, crucially, that Buffy knew more than she had been telling. She was happy just listening, that was until:

"Two." She said stepping into the room. "Chosen Two."

"Chosen Two?" Riley looked between the girls as Faith eased herself down onto the bed besides Buffy.

"Into every generation a slayer is born: one girl in all the world, a chosen one. She alone will wield the strength and skill to fight the vampires, demons, and the forces of darkness; to stop the spread of their evil and the swell of their number. She is the Slayer." Faith narrated with perfect clarity.

"But there are two of you?" Riley pointed between them, as if counting the pair.

Buffy opened her mouth to reply but Faith, once again beat her two it. "You know when you're about to get it on, and you're right in the moment, and you know you need to put a rubber on but you just don't want to spoil the moment-"

"I died." Buffy clarify, not entirely sure where Faith was taking her analogy.

"You died?"

"And nine months later out popped little Faithy." The brunette smiled darkly at him.

"And now there are two?" The girls nodded at him, almost in synch. "But you're disabled?" he pointed at Faith.

"I prefer the term differently abled." She rolled her eyes realising that he just wasn't getting it. "She stabbed me."

"You stabbed her?" He looked at Buffy.

"She was evil." Buffy frowned back at him, folding her arms across her chest.

"You were evil?"

"Sugar daddy bought me a PlayStation," Faith shrugged, "what's a girl to do?"

Suddenly they were quiet again.

"Just go." Buffy sighed. "Unless you have any more questions?"

Riley stood slowly, "I have about a million," he sighed. "I don't see me getting many answers though." He was almost at the door before he could fight his urge to turn back no longer. "What do we do?" He asked Buffy.

"I don't know." She stood up and met him by the door, taking its edge in her hand. "I just..." she shook her head. "I really thought that you were a nice, normal guy." She told him simply as she shut the door behind him.

She walked back slowly and sat on her bed, sitting in his place, and looked at Faith. She looked her up and down, assessing her almost. One crutch was leaning against the bed, the other was still firmly in her left hand. She figured the left must still be Faith's weaker side.

"What was all that?" she asked her eventually.

"What?" Faith asked back.

"Condoms?"

"Always should use 'em. I know it's a drag, but safe sex is important. Don't want any little slayers running about the place."

Buffy opened and shut her mouth several times before she was able to say; "You weren't an accident."

"I'm hardly the poster child for planned pregnancy."

Every so often they would look each other in the eye, but both would pull away. The silence was intolerable but neither knew what to say. Faith wanted so much to get up and leave, but she didn't want to let Buffy see her struggle to stand up. So she simply sat there and waited for one of them to crack and break the silence. She just prayed it wasn't her.

"So this is how its going to be?" Buffy asked eventually. "You and I hate each other until the end of days because I had the bad luck to not die?"

"I don't hate you." It was so quiet that Buffy wasn't quite sure that she'd heard it, even with her specialised hearing. She wasn't quite sure that she'd heard it, except for the fact that she felt the same. "I want to hate you." Faith said eventually. "God, I want to hate you so much. And," she leant forward ever so slightly, but dropped her head so Buffy could no longer see her face, "this is the real kick in the shins, I hate myself for not hating you."

"You should hate me." Buffy swallowed hard.

They might have continued like that. They might have been able to talk to each other. Stop avoiding. Stop pretending they weren't in each other's lives. Stop trying to move on without doing anything to progress. They might have been able to finish it. Except the earth shook.

Buffy was up in a flash, she grabbed Faith and helped her to a doorway, helped her to ride out the earthquake without being in harm's way. She pulled her under closet's doorframe and rode it out with her.

When it finally stopped Faith pulled herself to her crutches, hopping on her right leg forced to drag her left. She grabbed her two aluminium supports and left Buffy in the doorway.

Neither were able to say anything more to each other. Neither was sure they was anything else to say.

* * *

She rolled her eyes when she saw him at the door. She wanted to turn around and find another exit, but she didn't know if they even was another exit. She didn't want to ask one of the students. She thought about walking around and trying to find another way home but realised that getting lost just to avoid him would be a waste of time.

"Mind if I walk you home?" he asked her.

"I don't live on campus." she responded with a shrug.

"I don't mind." He tried to smile at her as he held open the door.

"Whatever." She sighed stepping into the sun.

It took him all the way to Main Street before he actually worked up the courage to say anything more to her.

"You work together?"

"In case you hadn't noticed," she looked across at him, "currently on sick pay."

"So you get paid?"

"Figure of speech." She sighed at him, before stopping in her tracks. "No, she's not dating anyone. Yes, she'd probably love to go out to dinner with you. That's what you want right?" She looked at him for confirmation. "Or do you want to know the best lines to get into her pants? Cause as far as I know the only thing that gets her cold ass into bed is a nice cold-"

"STOP!" he said quickly, cutting her off not wanting to her to finish whatever it was she was going to say.

"Jesus, you're just as vanilla as her aren't you?" she shook her head at him. "After a long night in the office I bet you just want to go home and spoon!"

They fell back into silence as he walked her through the town.

"What do you want from me?"

"I need to want something from you?" he asked her.

"Everybody always does."

"Can't I just want to walk you home?"

"Why would you want to do that?"

"Because you're a friend of Buffy's."

"Did you miss the part where I told you she stabbed me and she told you I was evil?"

"How can you be evil? You're just a kid." He smiled at her.

In an instant she was at him, he'd been shoved down an alley and his back was against the wall, pinned there by her right arm, as her crutch dangled limply from her elbow. "You. Know. Nothing. About. Me."

"Then tell me." He tried.

She let him go and he dropped ever so slightly, the pressure pinning him to the wall being lost too quickly for him to maintain his balance. He watched as she sunk to the floor, undisturbed by the sound of her metal supports hitting the concrete of the street.

"Your accent," he slid down the wall and joined her on the floor, "its New England right?"

"Boston."

"How long you been out West?"

"Just shy of eighteen months."

"I came out here for school. I'm Riley by the way," he extended his hand to her, "I never caught your name."

She simply shook her head and reluctantly found herself smiling at him. With him. She could see why Buffy liked him. He was nice. He was too nice. She could see why Buffy wanted to push him away. He was going to die. His adventure into the world's underbelly was going to kill him.

Darkness creates darkness, humans need the light to live. The night was going to hunt him down and he would drown in it all.

Sometimes she felt as though she had been born in the dark, it was only when her Watcher found her, it was only when her powers came to her, did she find the light, did she find the reason for being. She was special. She was the Chosen One. She had something that no one could take away from her.

Yet there was Buffy.

Her hand went to her side, it was subtle, she didn't even know she was doing it. It wasn't until she felt his eyes watching her did she remember where she was. What was going on.

"This is just a game for you. Just a job. This is Buffy's destiny. This is what she was built for, what she was created for. You can't get that."

"My skin hums." He told after a while. "My hands, every inch of me. I've never been this excited about a girl before. I don't know what happened in her past-"

"She died. She lived. She kills – sometimes she has to kill those closest to her – and she'll do it because she has to. To save the world. Every time there's a choice to be made, she'll pick the world because that's her destiny." He wasn't sure she was still talking to him anymore. "You think this is a game. A chance to break free, break loose and have a little fun. You'll die. Just like everybody else." She turned to face him, letting him know that it was still him she was talking to. Tears were falling down her face. "There is nothing scarier than dying."

* * *

When I started this I thought I knew where I was going to take it. This is a living project and seems to change with every chapter. I've written Fuffy before, but Faith is almost too complex a character to have as the lead. That's what makes her fascinating.  
Also, I would like to know how many of you are downloading the tracks as I use them as titles. My girlfriend doesn't know it yet but she's getting a whole mix CD of the various LAURA MARLING tracks I've been using.  
Thanks for reading, Circus.


	10. Darkness Descends

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but go with it.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

10. Darkness Descends

Giles could only watch as Faith pulled back into herself. The others were growing up and apart and leaving each other behind. Faith was just left to bring up the rear. Spike moved out of the house no longer feeling the need for shelter or protection now that he realised it was only humans he was helpless against. Xander had stopped coming around the house as much anymore finding having a girlfriend and a job took up the free time that he'd been so desperate to fill before. Willow was spending a lot of time with her new friend honing her magic skills. He didn't even know what Buffy was doing any more.

All that he knew was that Faith, seeing the others pull away, withdrew into herself. The relationships she had forged with them seemed meaningless now as they left her to bigger and better things. Or that was how he assumed she interpreted it. Everybody leaves.

He knew that she tired of being on the sidelines. Though she had advanced to just the single crutch to support her weaker left side, she was still frustrated to be held back. He didn't think she'd been slaying since joining with the Mayor. He didn't think she'd been slaying since her fight with Buffy. He didn't think she'd been slaying since her recovery. Of course he couldn't know, her life was once again a mystery.

She pulled back from him, scared that he, too, would leave her.

He didn't know how to show her that he wouldn't. He tried to involve himself in her school life, but she resisted. He tried to keep up her interest in Slayer histories but her curiosity seemed to have vanished almost as quickly as it came.

He didn't know what had happened but he suspected it had something to do with the aftermath of Willow's spell and whatever happened at campus while they were dealing with the Gentlemen. He wondered if something had happened between the two of them, if something had been said. But he could only guess.

They gathered for her birthday. She received small gifts from everyone. They joined together for Christmas, and Chanukah for Willow. Gifts were exchanged. They assembled for Buffy's birthday. Faith handed over something small wrapped in paper. Words and pleasantries were exchanged once more. Everybody seemed to be talking without speaking.

It wasn't until she gave up her final crutch and started jogging did a smile appear back on her face. She jogged, she ran, she worked out.

He had to beg her not to abandon her books as she found she could fight once again. He had to plead with her, to try and force her to see that she was more than a calling.

She was a girl.

He encouraged her to go out, to meet new people, unconvinced that she was talking to people at school. Unconvinced that she was even going to school anymore. When she was bound to her chair he could control her movements – force her to help herself – now that she was free he had to abandon her to herself and hope that she didn't get lost once more.

All she wanted to do was to train. To fight. To be something.

He wanted Buffy to train with her, now that she was up on her feet again, but Buffy was nowhere to be seen. He didn't know what she did with her time anymore, but he imagined it had something to Riley. He wanted Willow to tutor her, to keep her up her interest in school work as he seemed unable to do it anymore, but Willow was too caught up in her own interests, her own friends. He wanted Xander to hang around the apartment with her, to watch bad movies and discuss comic books, but he had a girlfriend now. He didn't need Faith. They didn't need Faith.

All of his training had prepared him to work with the Chosen One. No one seemed to know what to do now there were Two.

He watched her as she slipped back into old habits. She went to school, or she said she did. She returned. She trained. She went out. He didn't know where she went. He worried about her. He worried about Buffy. The army had tried to kill her and yet she was still in bed with Captain America. Steve Rogers was broken though. No one seemed to notice that Faith was broken too.

He sat in her room, at the foot of her bed, and simply waited for her to return. It was her climbing through the window in the early hours that woke him from a sleep he didn't realise he'd succumbed to. He glanced at the clock on her bedside table. It had gone Five. He wondered if it was the dark winter nights and the late dawns that kept her out, but he doubted it.

She looked shock to see him there. She was too quick to try and cover the guilt from her face.

"It's a school night." He told her as she pulled out a couple of stakes from the back of her trousers.

"Got a free first period."

"No you haven't." He sighed at her. "Your school called this morning. They told me your timetable. They also said that that if you miss another day, regardless of your final grades, they won't allow you to graduate."

She simply shrugged. "That's five by five with me. Means I can quit going sooner."

"You're 18 now, you can do whatever it is you like." He said simply. "I can only suggest you stay in school. Your SATs weren't brilliant, but college wasn't out of the question." He rose to his feet. "Guess you've put pay to that notion." It wasn't until he'd got to the door did he ask the question he'd been putting off. "Where do you go?"

"I fight." She said simply.

"The demons out there," he gestured to the window she'd climbed in through, "or your own?" He caught her looking back at him, it was only for a second but she held her head up and caught his gaze. "I can give you a future. Or did you only want that when you thought you didn't have one? Have I done nothing to prove to you I'm not everyone else?" He closed her bedroom door behind him and walked down the short hallway to his own room.

He removed his glasses and sat them on top of the book on his bedside table. He dropped down onto his bed and rested his head in his hands.

"I wasn't meant to be here." She told him quietly. He looked up and found her leaning against the doorframe. "My mom always shouted that when she was drunk. Her boyfriends used to beat it into me when they were around. Buffy made that clear last year. Even the books you had me read, they all tell me that I'm not meant to be here. An accident. A mistake... I'm not the Chosen One." She shook her head and looked anywhere round the room but at him. "What am I meant to do now I am?"

"Live." He told her simply.

"Its not easy."

"What fun would be had in 'easy'?" He asked her.

* * *

Read and review, many thanks - as always - Circus.


	11. Night Terror

Summary:Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but go with it.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

11. Night Terror

He'd taken her to England. She didn't know why. A family reunion; a Watcher's retreat; a wedding; a funeral. He might have told her but she didn't know. Willow was never around anymore – too busy with school; magic; a thousand and one other things that didn't concern her. Xander was always out with Anya or at work. A bus boy; an ice cream vendor; a builder; a… she didn't know anymore. She'd lost track. She'd lost track of it all.

But she had Riley.

She had a boy to hold her hand during the day and a man to hold her close in the night. He wasn't quite as she'd thought he'd be, not as normal as she'd hoped, his approach to the Hellmouth was alien to her own. But he was good and strong and he loved her. That was enough.

But she couldn't turn to him when she woke in the night.

* * *

One count to three and they let the clean sheet billow in the air, she waited for it to slowly fall back down so she could see her face again. She stifled a smile when she saw the look of concentration on her face as she focused on the task in hand.

"Smell good, don't they?" She told her as they finished making the bed together, matching each other move for move.

"What?"

"Clean sheets. Like summer."

"I wouldn't know." She told her simply as she folded in the corners.

"Right. I forgot."

"I noticed."

She looked up at her and caught a glimpse of the clock on her beside table.

"I wish I could stay, but-"

"You have to go." She finished for her.

"Its just, with…" she trailed off.

"Little sis coming," she nodded, "I know. So much to do before she gets here."

She felt herself lingering, watching her a little too long each time, trying to catch her eye. Wanting her so much to say something – anything – to get her to stay with her in this room. In this moment.

She didn't say anything more though. There was nothing more to say.

"Now I really have to go."

"So go." She shrugged, a small playful smile upon her face. "Don't let me keep-" she cut herself off when her attention was caught by something on the bed. "Damn just when we made it so nice."

Buffy saw where she was looking and was mesmerised by the slow methodical drops of blood hitting the sheets.

She would have remained watching the blood pool and collate had she not seen something in the corner of her eye. She looked across and saw the knife – _her_ knife – in her right hand. The knife she was pushing into her stomach.

"Are you ever gonna take this thing out?" Faith asked her.

Buffy simply took hold of the handle tighter in her grasp. She moved the blade inside her and watched as Faith's face contorted in agony. She watched as Faith opened her mouth to scream but before any noise could escape her lips Buffy woke up. Drenched in sweat.

She looked across at the man sleeping besides her, the sheets kicked off to expose his bandaged midriff.

She sat up and looked around the room in search of the clothes she'd abandoned in haste just hours earlier. She dressed silently and escaped from the fraternity house.

The night was calling her. She had no choice but to hunt.

* * *

"You think its gonna rain?" she asked him looking up at the bright blue sky. He followed her gaze before he turned back to her and simply smiled.

"Nonsense. There's not a cloud in the sky." He smoothed down the blanket they were sat upon and reached around to the picnic. "Now eat your sandwich." He commanded as he passed her a fresh one from the basket.

She managed only a couple of mouthfuls before she was speaking again. "I don't know," she told him, "it just seems like it always starts raining right about now."

"You're too young and too pretty a girl to start wearing worry lines on your face." He turned from her to a garter snake that had slittered into his line of sight and onto their blanket. "There now, little fella," he soothed the serpent as he picked it up, "I don't know where you belong, but its sure not here with us. There you go," he smiled as he set it back down into the grass and watched it on its way. "You see?" he turned back to her, "there's nothing that can spoil our time together." He delved back into the basket and pulled out desert. "Now, who wants cheesecake?"

She returned his smile before catching sight of her over his shoulder.

She had time to scream before Buffy slaughtered the Mayor in front of her. Buffy looked down and surveyed her work, she watched as the butchered body of Richard Wilkins III morphed into that of Rupert Giles, before turning her attention to Faith.

"I told you I had things to do." She told her, sending her Watcher one last fleeting glance before seeing Faith tumble backwards in her haste to flee.

Buffy was upon her though. She raised the still bloody blade just to drop it into Faith's stomach.

Buffy sat bolt upright. Once again she was covered in sweat. She looked around the room and was amazed to find herself in her own bed, in her own dorm. She didn't recall how she had come to be there. She looked across at the bed opposite, it lay dormant without Willow inside.

She pulled back her sheets and found she was still clothed. She swung her legs round and glanced at the clock on the table between the two beds. There was still time. She might still catch a vampire before sunrise.

* * *

She watched her as she ran through the night. She watched as she dodged graves and tombs. Never stumbling. Never wavering. Never hesitating. Simply running. Running from her.

Buffy jumped down from the mausoleum she'd been tracking her from and began her chase. She walked in her trail. She was fast but she knew she would catch her, she would win and she would die. She followed her through the endless lines of graves, searching through the dead for her prey.

She watched as she finally made a mistake, she watched as she fell. She slowly made her way to the edge of the open grave and looked down and saw the mess of a child that could only cower and wait for her death. She stood above her, tall and powerful. She looked down at the weapon in her hand and knew that it would be used to kill the girl in the grave. It would be used to kill Faith once more.

Buffy jumped down. She had her now. Faith wouldn't get away this time.

Riley stirred besides her, wrapping his arm instinctively around her as he slept. She found herself back in his room, back in his bed. She surveyed her surroundings in the early morning light. She felt his arm across her chest. It felt heavy. It weighed down upon her. She shoved the dead weight of his sleeping form from her. She was suffocating. She couldn't be here. She had to go.

She couldn't escape though, her feet were knotted in the bed sheets. She kicked frantically, desperate to free herself.

Still he slept besides her.

She dressed and fled.

As she'd jumped into the grave, Faith's eyes had locked with her own. They'd looked straight into her soul. This time when Buffy woke, she knew she hadn't been alone as she'd slept. Faith had had those dreams too.

She fled.

Buffy bumped into Forrest in the hallway. He'd said some snide remark. She'd said something bitchy in reply. Why hadn't he just let her leave.

* * *

She wrapped her arms around herself to protect against the brisk morning air. She'd walked through town and barely seen a soul. A postman here, an early commuter there, a couple of workers opening up coffee houses, but no one who mattered.

She found herself on their doorstep. They would be home soon. She let herself in with the key from under his Welcome mat. She dropped the key on to his desk before slipping off her shoes and lay on the sofa.

She daren't fall asleep again, yet she was so tired. So very tired.

He found her on the sofa. Faith had rushed to the creature on the floor, he'd rushed to the girl on his couch. Both found they were checking pulses. Faith found none, Giles found he had woken Buffy.

She screamed before relaxing into his touch. Relaxing into her surroundings. She looked between the girl and her Watcher and suddenly felt safe. They were home again.

"I fear to ask about the dead demon on my living room floor." He sighed as she released him.

"He came with a package." Buffy explained to him.

"Damn G, why can't you get things through UPS like everyone else?" Faith laughed, trying to cover her clear discomfort and failing.

"Actually it was for you." Buffy told her, holding out the small parcel wrapped in brown paper.

* * *

Many thanks, Circus


	12. I'm a Fly Part I

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but go with it.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

12. I'm a Fly - Part I

He found her on the sofa. Faith had rushed to the creature on the floor, he'd rushed to the girl on his couch. Both found they were checking pulses. Faith found none, Giles found he had woken Buffy.

She screamed before relaxing into his touch. Relaxing into her surroundings. She looked between the girl and her Watcher and suddenly felt safe. They were home again.

"I fear to ask about the dead demon on my living room floor." He sighed as she released him.

"He came with a package." Buffy explained to him.

"Damn G, why can't you get things through UPS like everyone else?" Faith laughed, trying to cover her clear discomfort and failing.

"Actually it was for you." Buffy told her, holding out the small parcel wrapped in brown paper.

Faith took the gift, turned it over in her hands a couple of times before she threw it back to Buffy.

"Chuck it."

"Don't you want to know who its from?" she asked her as she subconsciously held it tight against her.

"Look around, B, it was delivered by a demon. Chances are I don't want it."

"Way to not answer the question." Buffy sighed, as she re-examined the parcel once more.

Giles looked between the two girls and sensed the tension growing. He made an excuse to leave muttering something about calling Xander or Spike but neither girl heard him. Faith had walked round to the sofa on which Buffy was still sat and taken her gift back, she dropped it into the waste paper basket besides the couch before folding her arms across her chest and staring down at the girl below her.

"Let me guess," she said eventually, "you have a couple of cameo appearances in my dreams and you thought you'd come over with a 'Welcome Home' banner and we'd be buds?"

There was no point in discussing the parcel, she knew who it was from, she might betray her better instincts and look inside it - but she prayed she wouldn't. Looking inside would only bring back the past. It wouldn't bring him back. Besides, she had Giles now. She didn't need him. She didn't need to need him.

"Do I hunt you every night?" Buffy asked by way of reply.

"No." Faith dropped down so she was sat on the coffee table opposite the blonde. "Some nights I dream about cigars and tunnels… and one time Portia de Rossi but that was just plain weird." She watched Buffy as she tried to place the name. "_Ally McBeal_."

"The lawyer show with all the short skirts?" Faith nodded.

Both girls sat in silence, all too aware that Giles had hidden himself away in his bathroom, neither wanting to make the first move.

"Is there really no way back for us?" Buffy asked her, leaning forward trying to catch her eye, trying to figure out what the other girl was thinking.

"Well given the only time we've ever kissed and made up we were under Red's mojo…" she trailed off as she stood and made her way to the window suddenly finding bird outside to be incredibly interesting.

Buffy joined and stood besides her, watching as a swift circled in the air but never landed, she wanted to reach out and touch Faith but thought better of it.

"That feeling…" Buffy shook her head unsure of how to phrase her thoughts, "that feeling of relief that came when we made up – mojo or not – that was real."

Faith simply walked past her and headed to the stairs. "You don't know me, so don't go all Psych 101, College Girl." She told her as she started the climb to her room.

* * *

_Hello, Faith. If you're watching this tape, it can only mean one thing. I'm dead. And our noble campaign to bring order to the town of Sunnydale has failed, utterly and completely.  
On the other hand - heck, maybe we won! And right now I'm on some jumbo monitor in the Richard Wilkins museum, surrounded by a bunch of kids sitting 'Indian style' and looking up at my face, filled with fear and wonder. Hi, kids!  
But the realist in me tends to doubt it. Now Faith. As I record this message, you're… sleeping. And the doctors tell me you might never wake up. I don't believe that. Sooner or later, you'll find the world has gone and changed on you. I wish I could make the world a better place for you to wake up in. But tough as it is to accept, we both have to understand that even my power to protect and watch over you has its limits.  
The hard pill to swallow here is: once I'm gone, your days are just plain numbered. Now, I know you're a smart and capable young woman in charge of her own life but the problem, Faith, is that there won't be a place in the world for you anymore. Right now, I bet you're feeling very much alone. But you're never alone. You'll always have me. And, you'll always have this.  
_

She'd managed to pull the package out of the trash before Giles had reappeared. She had barely made it to the end of his street before she'd pulled off the brown paper and discovered a video tape and an envelope inside. She headed towards her mother's, whom she believed to be out of town, and the only VCR player she could think of.

She watched and realised all that she'd done to Faith and, far more importantly, all that she'd not done for her. She didn't know if it was the Mayor who had sought out Faith or if it was vice versa - and she didn't want to know - she didn't need to know. What she did know, what the video evidenced to her, was that the Mayor had been there for her. Perversely, Buffy had taken that all that away from her by defeating evil; by simply doing what she had been created to do.

Faith came to Sunnydale looking for help, looking for support, looking for a family. Buffy provided none and took it all away.

She examined the Mayor's gift as the tape rewound. If she was quick she could replace it all before anyone noticed its absence from the bin. She wrapped everything back up, finding some brown paper in one of her mother's drawers, and headed back to Giles'.

When she knocked on the door he simply held out his hand, she tried to look a mixture of innocent and confused but he simply shook his head at her in clear disappointment. She had to hand back Faith's parcel before he would step aside and let her in.

She was surprised to see everyone else, Riley included, congregated in his living room. Information about Adam he explained. She looked around the room and found Faith back by the window, she couldn't meet her eye.

"So what did Richard send me?" Faith asked her as Buffy passed her to find a seat. Buffy was too ashamed to answer.

She had intruded upon an intimate relationship and taken the only thing that had been just Faith's from her. Stolen it from Faith for her own gain. All because Buffy had to be right. She was alway's right - because if she wasn't right, she was wrong. Then where did that leave her.

Buffy hung her head as she slipped into the chair besides Riley.

Riley told the group what he knew and that he would go back into the Initiative. There were small protests, but it was eventually agreed that it was the only thing they could do. There was no other way to discover anything about Adam.

Buffy and Faith let the conversation wash over them. Faith hurt by Buffy's actions – especially as she'd come to her only hours before professing that they could be friends. Buffy wanting to know so desperately what was going through her head.

Faith was right, she didn't know her. She'd never known her. The closest Buffy had ever come to learning anything about Faith was when she'd been in chains in Angel's mansion. Faith had spoken about her life – she'd told in a way to say she was over it, it had been what it had been – but her actions showed that her childhood was anything but past to her.

But Buffy also wanted Faith to have a little insight into her own 'perfect' life. Show her what it was like to be the Chosen One. Especially now when she'd never felt so alone. To be in a room filled with people and be isolated from them all.

Given that neither of them would or could talk to each other Buffy saw no other way.

As the meeting was drawing to a close she took Faith's hand in her own. All of a sudden her position was changed and she spun to look at Faith sat next to Riley on the chair. She looked at Faith in her body.

Buffy simply winked at her and held her finger to her lip before tucking a couple of stray brown hairs behind her ear.

* * *

So, I seem to have suddenly fallen in love with cliff hangers! Read and review, Circus.


	13. I'm a Fly Part II

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this. I know season 4 kind of blew, but go with it.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

13. I'm a Fly – Part II

As the meeting was drawing to a close she took Faith's hand in her own. All of a sudden her position was changed and she spun round to look at Faith sat next to Riley on the chair. She looked at Faith in her body.

Buffy simply winked at her and held her finger to her lips before tucking a couple of stray brown hairs behind her ear. Faith watched her body move, her hands tuck a couple of stray hairs behind her ear and mirrored the movement. She felt earrings, too many. She only had one hole in each ear and yet it felt three earrings in her lobe. She looked down at her hands, found they were not her own either.

She suddenly jumped up, much to the surprise to everyone, and examined herself in the nearest mirror. She was staring at Buffy's face. She spun round and faced the anxious looking group. Except for Anya; Anya just looked bored.

"Finally someone else that realises that Adam is going to kill us all and this meeting is a waste of all our time," she sighed standing next to her in front of the mirror. "Do you think I should go dark again?"

Faith opened and closed her mouth, Buffy's mouth, several times. She didn't know how to talk to Anya. She especially didn't know how to talk to Anya now she was someone else.

Faith went across the room and grabbed the girl standing in front the window. A girl with a mischievous grin upon her face. She was annoyed it had taken so long for the penny to drop. She grabbed the girl – her own body – and pulled her away from the group and into the bathroom. She heard mumbles of confusion, mainly from Xander, but locked them all behind the door as she slid the small bolt across.

"This is your plan?" Faith hissed at her, a question that startled her when she realised it had come from Buffy's Californian accent. "You steal my body, we get insight into each other's lives?" She didn't like that she was suddenly looking up at Buffy to meet her eyes, her own eyes. She didn't like having a conversation with herself. "We care, we share, we move on?"

Buffy looked at Faith, it was odd to see her in her body. She didn't like it. Nor did she like that Faith had made the idea sound so bad. They were in each other's lives, the only time they'd been able to get on was when they'd been kissing. There had to be more between them than simply love and hate. This device had appeared in their lives out of the blue for a reason. They should take advantage of it. There had to be more to them than simply love and hate.

"One," Buffy pointed Faith's finger at her, "I've borrowed. _Borrowed_!" she insisted quickly grabbing Faith's hand, her own hand, and inspecting the device. A device that was no longer there. "Borrowed." She said again with less certainty. "Where's the thing?"

"The _thing_?" Faith asked her, snatching back her hand, Buffy's hand, uncomfortable with the contact. She didn't like the effect that the blonde had upon her, she liked it so much less now that the Buffy was her. "What thing?"

"The thing that was in my hand." She shook her head. "Your hand."

"The only thing about _your_ hand is a couple of bad rings and some nasty coloured nail varnish."

"Oh!"

Faith moved her hands, Buffy's hands, somebody's hands, to her temples, "Oh?" she repeated, eyebrows arched, fists balled, "We're trapped like this?"

"Not trapped." Buffy frowned at her, suddenly pacing. "So _not_ trapped."

"You suck at making friends." Faith told her sitting down on the side of the bath and pulling at the clothes Buffy had been wearing. The clothes she was now wearing.

Buffy mumbled something about a book, _Winning Friends Through Telepathy_, before she suddenly stopped. "Okay new plan!" she pointed at Faith.

"Will you quit pointing my finger at me?" she growled batting her hand away.

"We go to Will and she can do something witchy… in a day… or so." Buffy trailed off uncertain of herself under Faith's gaze, uncertain of herself now that she was no longer her.

"Forgive me if I don't love that idea!" Faith sighed, "I'm not sure about being you for a couple of days – hell, I'm not even sure about being me for a couple of days – and if getting my body back relies upon Red?" she threw her hands up in exasperation. "In case you hadn't noticed, Red's powers? Not so hot," she mumbled as she got up to leave the small room, "unless you want her to float a pencil at us." She spun round quickly suddenly remembering something. "Don't you have a friend who's a rat?"

"Amy." Buffy smiled at her. "Oh," Faith watched as Buffy's face, her own smile, suddenly fell, "Amy." she repeated.

Faith went back to looking at herself in the mirror, she leaned in close scrunched up her nose, wiggled her eyebrows and stuck out her tongue. She leaned in closer still, she wondered if she could still see herself behind Buffy's eyes. She wondered if she even was still herself. This was too weird.

"I want my body back!" she told the other girl as she turned back, her arms folded across her chest.

"Aren't you the one that was always telling me to find the fun?" Buffy smiled at her, a smile Faith found very disconcerting when it came from her mouth. "I think I found it!"

Faith thought about replying but simply pulled open the door and marched back into the meeting. "We done?" she asked everyone as they all looked between herself and Buffy.

"You both, uh, alright?" Giles asked them whipping his glasses.

"Yeah, no bruises? No stab wounds?"

"Xander!" Willow scolded him, before she also instinctively looked over the pair. "We were giving another couple of minutes before we sent out a search party."

"Will, we're fine!" Buffy answered smiling at her friend's concern, touching her arm reassuringly.

Everyone looked at Faith's actions. Buffy frowned before pulling back. Faith didn't touch.

Faith simply shook her head and headed towards the stairs, Buffy's quick hand to her wrist indicated that upstairs was probably not where she was meant to be headed.

"Don't you have class?" she asked her simply.

Faith shook her head. "Whatever." She sighed, before a wicked grin crossed her face. "Come on, _boyfriend_," she smiled at Riley, "walk me home?" she grabbed the boy and pulled him towards the door, she said something very loudly about fun before she departed, Riley only able to shoot concerned looks to the others before following her.

Buffy simply watched as everyone slowly left, all taking time to say goodbye to Giles. Xander had said something quickly to her about a comic book but Anya had pulled him by the hand and distracted him with promises of sex. Buffy watched as Giles tidied his living room, reclaiming his space. Buffy simply watched.

"Now what?" she asked him.

"Well since you've dropped out of school – again – I can only assume you're going to watch _Passions_."

"Oh," Buffy slumped down on the sofa. "_Fun!_"

* * *

Faith sat in Buffy's class not entirely sure why she was continuing with Buffy's charade. This game of her's was the opposite of fun. If Buffy wanted the pair of them to get over everything and just be friends she should have brought along alcohol. Faith just wanted to go home. She ditched Riley as soon as she'd got to campus, she'd slouched around for a bit before bumping back into Willow. She found herself in Buffy's class. She had no idea what she was doing.

Granted she didn't know what she was doing with her life as a whole, but at least it was hers. Since she'd escaped her chair and the crutches she was back in control. Maybe that was why one of her first actions had been to quit school again. It was something that was within her power.

Her destiny wasn't hers, her future was signed off to the fate of humanity (or evil depending on the day of the week); but schooling, that she'd been able to control. Her school life, her civilian life, her human life – that was hers. That was something nobody could touch. That's probably why she did it. Probably.

She hadn't made any friends, but then again she hadn't really tried. The last lot of friends she'd had hadn't worked out that well for her – people either left, died, fucked her or fucked her over. She didn't know what it said about her that the only two people she'd been able to form actual relationships with were old enough to be her father.

Willow nudged her in the ribs and slipped a note along the desk to her.

_You alright? You went all Cordy at Giles._ she suddenly pulled the note back from her and scribbled something hastily on the bottom of it: _&__ what's with you and Faith?_

Faith shook her head and silently laughed. There was no way she could answer that on the tiny piece of paper Willow had given her.

_I __am__ Faith_.

_Maybe_, Willow wrote back, _but we all are when you think about it_.

Faith simply balled up the piece of paper and shoved it in her pocket; if the fate of her body rested in Willow's hand, she wasn't brimming in confidence. Besides, she didn't need another one of them psycho-analysing her actions. She went back to looking round the class and wondered if this could have ever been the life for her.

Maybe it could have been if she'd had a different set of parents, a different set of teachers, a different set of schools to go to. Maybe it could have been if she'd stopped blaming everyone else for her life and actually studied. Maybe school simply wasn't her thing. She always had been better with her hands.

Class was dismissed, a threat about late term papers issued and suddenly she was walking with Willow again. They passed through the corridors until the redhead got distracted by the appearance of the girl who'd knocked her down all those weeks before. Willow mentioned something about going off with her to cast some spells, Faith simply laughed. Sure you are, she replied. Sure you are.

Finding nothing else to do, Faith simply walked back home. That's where she'd wanted to be all along anyway. She only hoped that Buffy had tired of 'Nancy Drew-ing' all over her life and would leave her back alone.

She found Buffy sat on the sofa, she simply threw herself down besides her and snatched the remote from her.

"Quit looking all surprised I'm back here. What did you think I'd do?" she asked Buffy as she flipped the channels, "Sleep with your boyfriend and run off with your body to Mexico?"

"No," Buffy took the remote back and shut off the television. She shifted in her seat so she was sat cross legged and facing her counterpart. "I wanted to show that I trust you."

"And this," Faith gestured up and down the body she was in, "was the only way you could think of doing it?"

"Do you trust me?"

"You stole my mail and then my body!" Faith shook her head at her. "You're a dork! You're a holier-than-thou, always-got-to-be-right, dork!" Buffy wasn't entirely sure if Faith expected her to say anything. "You bug the hell out of me! I can't walk a metre through this town without hearing your name and for a long time I couldn't _even_ walk!" Faith raised her hands sensing Buffy was about to interrupt. They'd had enough interruptions. Enough of silence. It was time. "You killed the one guy that ever looked out for me – but I helped you." Suddenly Buffy watched as Faith was on her feet and pacing in front of her. "We had one of those trippy slayer dreams and there I am telling you how to beat a guy that cared for me. That loved me. That I loved." She shook her head, she was no longer sure where she was going but she knew that the pacing was going to continue. "Yet. I'm. Still. Here!" she told Buffy eventually. "And my god, having that conversation with you was ridiculously hard given that I'm having it with myself." She complained gesturing at the face Buffy was wearing, before thinking about what she'd said. "Is it a conversation if I'm the only one talking?"

Buffy simply stared at her. She had no idea what to say. After months of not talking to each other Faith had suddenly erupted. For the longest time she had been trying to get them to talk, but she suddenly found she had nothing to say to the girl. She was about to start to construct a reply when Giles walked past the pair of them.

"Did one of you drop this?" he asked them dangling the Mayor's technology from his thumb and dropping it onto the sofa next to Buffy before he continued upstairs.

Faith was on it in a shot, palming the device and grabbing Buffy's hand. Her intention had been to get Buffy to get it to work – to switch them back – she had no understanding that that was how it worked.

She regarded Buffy standing above her and then she watched as the blonde fell to her knees. She found she was staring into Buffy's eyes and she was reassured that she was no longer behind them.

What put her back on edge though, was the fact that Buff took her face between her hands and pressed their lips together.

* * *

Thanks for all the reviews and the support, the Girlfriend has finally caught up and is acting as a sounding board for ideas. I appriciate all of yours too - especially as you seem to read faster.

Many thanks, and please do keep reading and reviewing. Circus.


	14. Failure

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this: Superstar especially for this update.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

14. Failure

Buffy paced up and down the small landing a couple of times before she finally managed to knock on the door. She waited for a response before walking in. She watched as Faith finished putting up a poster onto the wall before she spoke.

"That his new one?" she asked pointing at it.

"Yeah, he signed it when you brought him round the other night." She flattened down one of the edges, making sure it was completely smooth, before standing back and admiring it with Buffy. "Can't believe you get to fight with him!"

"You could fight with him too you know."

"Yeah right," Faith rolled her eyes before throwing herself down on her bed, "like could ever fight with Jon!"

"He prefers Jonathan." Buffy told her quietly sitting besides her.

"You see, its stuff like that." Faith sat up and crossed her legs beneath her, "I'm always shooting my mouth off; it would just bug him." she shrugged, "Besides how could I fight with him? I doubt he'll of forgotten I used to bat for the other team." She jumped up and walked over to her desk, grabbed a magazine and showed Buffy one of its articles. Buffy didn't look at the piece though, she simply smiled at the girl who couldn't stay still. "He works with the government," said Faith, oblivious to Buffy staring at her, "what's to stop him handing me over to them – bet they'd love to put a chip in my head too!"

Buffy joined Faith on feet, "Look if the Initiative wanted you, they would have taken you by now-"

"Got any pep for this talk, B?" It took a beat for Faith to meet her eyes and a moment longer for a weak smile to briefly cross her face.

"I won't let them take you." Buffy closed the gap between the two of them and laid a hand on her shoulder. "You're not a kitten to be taken to the vet to be spayed."

"Billy's analogy really the one you're sticking with?" Faith asked her stepping back. She took back the magazine from Buffy and held it protectively across her chest. "Why don't you run along and find Beefstick, I've got things to do."

"What like not doing homework and not studying for finals?" Buffy frowned at her, flicking through the other magazines Faith had with Jonathan in.

"Look," Faith pointed at her, "if you're tired of playing second fiddle to Jonathan that's fine, but don't come over here and-" she threw her hand up into the air, she didn't know the end of her sentence. "Just go." she said eventually.

* * *

"It's all Faith's fault. She's like poison. No, worse, like acid that eats through everything. Or maybe a bomb. The point is, everything's going great with Riley and then she messes it all up." Buffy looked around, she'd been walking stride with stride with Jonathan down Main Street but now she found herself talking to herself. She turned round and looked at him simply staring at him. "What?" she asked him, subconsciously tucking a hair behind her ear and suddenly feeling very foolish.

"I didn't want to be stood next to you when the bomb went off." She frowned at him. She liked that he maintained eye contact with her all the while interacted with a fan who wanted her book signed. Buffy always felt as though she was about to take a test when she was with him. A test she hadn't studied for. "You and Riley are great together-"

He paused when Buffy started pointing at him, frowning slightly: "That's the same but-face Giles has." she said.

"But," Jonathan continued as he signed a copy of his autobiography for a fan, "demon fighting aside, he's too ordinary for you." Buffy rolled her eyes as the young girl mumbled her thanks to him before hurrying off. "Your first boyfriend, your first love," the hero powered on, "was a vampire – not just any vampire but the only vampire to have a soul – and now you're with some military boy from Iowa?"

"Where's the bomb though?" She asked him.

"I thought Faith was the bomb." Jonathan smiled at her as he lead her to a table in the Expresso Pump.

They sat in silence while a waitress brought them a couple of drinks before they'd even ordered. Just the way you like it, the girl had told him, on the house.

"I kissed her." Buffy told him quickly. Too quickly. "The other day, when we'd just swapped back I kissed her."

"Ka-boom!" he said slowly a smug smile growing on his face.

"We've not spoken since." Buffy thought for a moment before re-examining her sentence. "We've talked, just not about that." She took a sip from her drink. "What if she's still evil?"

"Was she ever evil before?" he asked her as another girl approached them with a book in hand. "So she worked for the Mayor," he shrugged, "so have all the police officers and garbage men in this town. Are they evil?" He put the cap back on his pen, snapped the book shut and passed it back to the young girl. She muttered her thanks while turning a shade of crimson Buffy hadn't seen in human form before.

It was only once the girl was a good distance away did Buffy lean in closer to the man and say: "She killed a man!"

"Now from the police records I read of that night, you were also there!"

"But I didn't kill him!"

"No, you just pushed him towards her." Jonathan reminded her as he drained his coffee cup.

"That wasn't in the report was it?"

"No." he admitted, "that was my own investigation. I didn't pass on my findings to SPD though because, even with me on the streets, slayers behind bars wouldn't have done anyone any good."

Buffy studied the remains of her drink. She wondered if she was smarter, like Jonathan, if she'd be better at her job. She wondered if she were smarter, like Jonathan, if Faith would even be in the precarious position she constantly found herself in.

"I would talk to her." He told her, placing a reassuring hand on hers, "I would talk to Riley first though."

* * *

Faith had spent hours picking out her outfit. Buffy had called inviting her to the Bronze. They were all going, she'd said, she should come out too. Besides, she'd added, Jonathan had promised to do a set.

She shut off one of his old albums from her CD player, she liked playing Jonathan's CDs they were the only ones she could pump out full blast without Giles complaining about. She knew he listened to them too. He would never admit to it though. She bid him good night and ignored his pleas not to come home drunk. As the door swung shut behind her she could swear he was yelling about Cave Faith.

She gave a last once over of her outfit in a car's wing mirror before paying the cover to get into the club. She was annoyed that it was so much, but admitted that Jonathan was worth every cent of her ten dollars.

She smiled when she found Buffy waiting for her at the door.

"Where's GI Joe?" she asked her.

"I, uh, dumped him." Buffy said, not meeting her gaze. "We agreed to still be friends and he said he'll help us out until the Adam situation is no longer a situation. Oh-" she lightly smacked her head when she realised what she'd meant to tell Giles earlier "Jonathan has worked out his power source: its uranium!"

"He's working for an eastern European country?" Faith frowned at her. "Is this some hangover from the Cold War?"

"No," Buffy smiled back, "not Ukrainian. Uranium!" Faith looked away feeling incredibly stupid, she could be thankful that it was only Buffy who'd witnessed it. If Jonathan had heard she would never be allowed to fight with the gang again. "Come on lets dance." She took Faith's hand in her own. "Try not to get me arrested this time."

Faith didn't know what had happened to make Buffy so confident, but she liked it. Hopefully Jonathan would stay in town a while this time. Whenever he left and Buffy had to take the lead in slaying again, she changed. It was like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and she couldn't breath. Faith liked it when Jonathan was around, he enabled Buffy to relax and fall into the shadows a bit. He allowed her time to just worry about being Buffy rather than worrying about everything else as well.

One day she hoped to be able to help out again, that way whenever Jonathan was away it wouldn't all fall to Buffy. She knew she'd let Jonathan down, and she hated herself for it, but maybe if he allowed her to help out it would allow Buffy more time to…

They were dancing together now that was all that mattered. They'd kissed again, Riley had been dumped, Jonathan had finished singing that slow stuff and had moved on to some of his faster number, his cooler stuff, and she and Buffy were dancing again. Finally they were dancing again. They were the Chosen Two.

Her thoughts, and more importantly the end of Jonathan's set, were interrupted when a battered and beaten girl came running into the middle of the dance floor. Buffy tried to tend to her but she only wanted to speak with Jonathan. Faith watched as he approached the girl, he even knew her name, Faith just watched. One day she might be like him. She might be a hero too.

* * *

Buffy found her back watching _Passions_, what surprised her was that Xander was sat on the sofa with her. She walked round the couch and turned off the television before facing the pair of them.

"If you're about to tell us about a world with no shrimp again…" Faith's arms were crossed tight across her chest. She looked just like the little girl she'd found in that motel room after Gwendolyn Post had died.

"Xander can you give us a minute please." Buffy asked the boy.

He got up and headed to the door, but just before he opened it he turned to her and said "I'll always remember the way he made me feel about me. Valued and respected. Sort of tingly. And now I'm just... empty." He sighed pulling open the door.

"Poor Xander, I guess he hurt you most of all." Buffy nodded before pointing out of the house. She sat down next to Faith and tried to make eye contact. "How you doing?"

"Five by five."

Buffy raised her eyebrows, "I'm sorry, but you know I had to do it."

"Yeah, especially after that thing beat up Red's girlfriend and all but-" Faith stopped when she spotted Buffy's face. "Oh, you didn't know?"

"No." Buffy frowned, trying to quickly cover her look of shock. "Oh," she said suddenly, "spells!" Faith simply nodded. "Oh." Buffy simply repeated.

"Speaking of…"

"Lesbians?"

"Spells." Faith sighed with a roll of her eye. "Is our relationship ever going to progress without magic?"

"You want a relationship?" Buffy found herself suddenly taking a step back, bumping into the television set.

"I don't know what I want." Faith told her standing and walking away. "You definitely don't."

Buffy watched as she walked up the stairs. Faith always seemed to be walking away.

* * *

I really enjoyed writing this update. Having Jonathan around gave me so much freedom with the characters and its all in cannon (just look how weak, feeble and unsure of herself 'Betty' became).  
Hope you didn't mind waiting for the update, the girlfriend and I went on holiday. There were pedilows, we're pedillowers now. Thanks for reading and I read and am grateful for every single review. Many thanks, Circus.


	15. The Muse

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this: Where The Wild Things Are especially for this update.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

15. The Muse

Xander had dragged her out to the cinema, he'd told her that he needed someone to see the new _Scream_ movie and Anya would only talk to him throughout it. She didn't get films, it's a demon thing, he'd explained with a shrug. Faith reluctantly agreed to go with him. In honesty though, she would have gone anywhere or done anything to get out of the house.

Giles was on her case about going back to school. He had been ever since they'd returned from England – to the point she thought he'd arranged a death in the family purely so he could get her to re-enrol… again. His argument was he had done nothing to give her any reason to doubt him, she was part of his family and he wasn't going anywhere; logically she should stop avoiding things that tied her to Sunnydale. Her argument was that she was unlikely to ever need her GED in the real world. His argument was winning.

She'd sat besides him in the theatre she found she hadn't been watching the movie. She knew that one of the actresses from _Friends_ was in it, but that was all she was able to recall. Her thoughts, throughout the film, had been with her life in Sunnydale.

She'd never meant to stay in California. She'd come out west to run away from Kakistos. She knew she was heading towards a Slayer and a Hellmouth, but she didn't think anywhere past the running away bit of her plan. Then she'd gone to Buffy; then to the Mayor; then all of a sudden she was paralysed and she couldn't go anywhere.

Now she was back on her feet again. She was free to run and jump, and fight and hunt. She had nothing tying her to Sunnydale. She should just pack up and go, there was nothing keeping her here. She was a Spartan. Spartans were solitary. Yet there was Giles and now there was Buffy… again.

"We're about to have a conversation," Faith told Xander as they left the movie theatre, "this is the last time we're going to have it and we're not even having it now." He simply nodded, not entirely sure if he was meant to respond or not. She needed a sounding board and, aside from Giles, he was the person she was closest to.

"Buffy kissed me." She told him slowly.

"I, uh, know." He responded just as slowly. "I'm just sad I missed it." He smiled relaxing into the conversation. "But Willow had me being pursued by demons. It was like Shakespeare only there was no exit."

"No," she shook her head, "not then. She kissed me after we swapped bodies back. And," she found herself suddenly pointing at him and quickly withdrew her finger, "she was being all vibey with me while Jonny was 007." He narrowed his eyes in confusion. He didn't remember. He, like the rest of Sunnydale, had already forgotten about Jonathan. "Nevermind." She sighed. "Buffy though?"

He opened and closed his mouth several times. He muttered things about lesbians, his video collection and fantasy's he'd had. He eventually shut up and confessed he would probably be little help.

"I know and I would go to Red but she's going through it all herself and she doesn't' need me confusing her with B."

"Wait, back up!" he blinked several times trying to process all the information he'd just been handed. "Willow's gay for Buffy?"

"No Willow's gay for that blonde chick she's always hanging out with. How am I the only one to have noticed this?" She ran a set of fingers through her hair, it seemed the entire Scoobie gang were oblivious to everything that was demon related. She should have known that already though. "Look," she told him, returning once again to the gruff tone she'd opened the conversation with, "I don't know what's going on with me and B and that's where you come in."

"Me?" he said. "Am I key guy again? Cool." He smiled and then quickly frowned at her, "What am I meant to do?"

She mirrored his frown before shrugging her shoulders. "Talk and stuff, I guess. Isn't that what friends do?"

Her usual methods of working out a problem were not an option this time. She'd knocked the punching bag Giles had put up for her off its chains. She would have gone patrolling but Buffy was always there. It seemed the more Faith tried to pull away the more fervently Buffy clung to her, as if she was terrified Faith would go off the deep end again. And therein lied the crux of the problem.

It took her a while to be able to speak candidly to him. She didn't like talk about herself and she especially didn't like talking about feelings. Opening up to people just gave them ammunition to use against her. But then again, Xander had already seen the worst of her, he had all the bullets he ever needed.

Faith knew Buffy would could never trust her. Not fully. Faith knew that Buffy would always be waiting for Faith to turn again. Hell, even she was waiting for that day. Throw into the mix new and odd feelings for girls and Faith was petrified. Sure she'd had a couple of dreams about Portia De Rossi but that by no means meant that she was ready to give up the gear shift.

Xander listened and tried to piece together all the fragments Faith had given to him. He tried to place them into order of importance and then categorised them by theme. He came close to alphabetising them. Eventually he just put his hand up to get her to stop talking.

"What I have learnt, in all my years of being the one without any powers, is that I bring the party to the mix. And tomorrow I'll bring the party. Well actually Riley's bringing the party but I'm invited and I'm inviting you."

"You want me to explore my possible feelings for B at a party at her ex-boyfriend's house?"

Xander slapped his hands onto his knees and pushed himself to a stand. "When you phrase it like that you make it sound like a bad plan." He smiled at her, nodding down the road for them to continue their walk home. "Now these feelings you're going to explore with Buffy, you going to take some pictures to show me… to help me help you better?"

* * *

She and Xander bumped into Buffy and Willow lurking outside the house. Faith was pleased that Willow had brought along Tara, Buffy was just pleased she didn't have to enter the party alone. She wasn't quite sure why they were going, but Willow had reminded her about being friends with Riley and being friends apparently meant parties.

The group of them stepped across the threshold of the fraternity house and settled themselves into the midst of the party. Xander spoke, with a little too much detail, about why Anya was not with them. Willow clearly wasn't listening though; she pointed to something on the balcony and asked Tara if she wanted to get a closer look at it. Faith smiled as the redhead grabbed Tara's hand and pulled her upstairs, both of them giggling. Faith watched as Willow pulled the other girl, not to subtly, into a bedroom.

"Told you." She smiled at the other two.

"And we shall never doubt again." Xander told her, continuing to stare at the door Willow and Tara had disappeared behind.

"What you doing with such a good gaydar?" Buffy whispered into her ear once Xander had gone off in search of a drink.

"What?" Faith frowned at her, stepping away slightly to put a bit of distance between the two of them. "You have to be a gay to spot a gay?"

"_A gay?_" Buffy arched an eyebrow. "You would have been the last person I would have thought to have been homophobic."

"I'm Irish Catholic there's a difference." Faith walked off into the party, hoping to find Xander or a drink, instead she just found Buffy following her.

Buffy grabbed her wrist and spun the younger girl round. "Are we ever going to talk about this?"

"Talk about what, B?" she asked shaking her hand free of her grip.

"You and me?"

"There is no you and me. There's only you. Lots of space. Then there's me." Faith told her, trying to make her way back through the party. She didn't know where the conversation was headed, but she sensed that it would head them towards attention from a load of frat boys.

"What are you so afraid of?" Buffy asked her.

"I'm not afraid of anything." Faith shone her an unconvincing smile. "I'm a hot chick with superpowers, nothing can scare me."

Buffy took Faith past a group of sophomores, who seemed to have far too keen an interest in a wall, and into a quieter corner. "The other day you were talking about a relationship!" she reminded her.

"Yeah," Faith nodded, "but then you visibly recoiled and I moved on."

"You moved on; just like that?"

"Yeah! Just. Like. That." Faith reiterated, moving away. Once again Buffy's hand was at her wrist pulling her towards her. "DON'T TOUCH ME!" she yelled, before dropping her voice to a whisper Buffy could barely hear. "_It's _disgusting." Faith looked at Buffy, and then around the room, taking in her surroundings as if she'd only just found herself in them. "Okay," she said slowly, "that was interesting."

"Define interesting!" Buffy was lost, she could only look at Faith and hope an explanation would follow. One minute they'd been having a conversation, granted not the warmest conversation in the world but a conversation nonetheless, then all of a sudden Faith was yelling at her.

"That was me," Faith nodded as if answering a question Buffy hadn't asked, "but it wasn't." She shook her head. "I'm going to, uh, to go to the bathroom."

Buffy looked around the room. She'd just been yelled at and yet no one had noticed. Even at the best parties an argument normally distracted things, yet, no one had noticed them. She walked through the party, she wanted to find Faith again, she hated that whenever she and Faith seemed to get somewhere one of them invariably seemed to walk away.

She kept scanning the party and kept noticing odd little things. She had to find one, preferably all, of the others; something was weird about this party. She had to stop going to parties. Parties were never good.

* * *

Willow looked around the group congregated around the cafeteria table, trying to take everything in but then Tara beat her to it.

"Mr Giles was singing?" she questioned.

"Yeah," Faith smiled, "he looked wicked hot, no wonder he gets so many naked friends!"

"Yeah lets bring that up again, I just love to think about Mom having sex with him." Buffy sighed.

"I am willing to offer cash incentives to change the subject." Xander agreed.

"You guys are all such prudes." Faith scolded them. "Given that we just had our asses haunted and possessed because of those two lust bunnies," she gestured between Willow and Tara sitting opposite the rest of the group, "you guys shouldn't be so repressed."

"Says the Irish Catholic." Buffy told her pointedly.

"Logically we should be more repressed." Xander pressed on. "If sex gets us haunted, we should stop having sex. Or you should." He looked towards a blushing Willow and Tara. "Does that sentence make me homophobic?"

"They're right you know," Anya nodded, "not about the homophobic bunnies – they're terrifying – but about the sex. You two nearly killed us." She pointed at across the table. "Feel shame."

"My girlfriend," Xander smiled, placing a hand on Anya's shoulder, "mistress of the learning plateau."

"As coming outs come," Buffy smiled at Willow, "I would say yours was possibly the worst." She looked at the others and found them all nodding besides her, "When you two start telling parents, or Giles, I definitely would not suggest you do it that way."

"Yeah," Willow looked at Tara and smiled, "that was simply horrible."

"Awful." Tara agreed, a smile spreading across her face too.

"And with that note, kids," Faith leapt up, "I need to go persuade Giles that he doesn't want to send me to Miss Porter's next year."

"That's the, uh, all girls' school with the blazers and the kilts?" Xander looked at her mischievously.

He promptly stopped when he noticed all eyes glaring at him and Anya's fist met his arm. The ex-demon looked between the boy and the girl and instinctively grabbed him closer to herself.

"You can't have him."

Faith simply patted her on the shoulder, before departing.

"Wait up." Buffy told her, running to join her as Faith walked through the cafeteria.

"I know I don't come to campus often, B, but I can find my way home."

"Yes," Buffy conceded, "but let me walk you anyway." Buffy smiled, taking her hand. What surprised Buffy was that Faith let her.

It wasn't until they'd reached the campus boundary did Faith finally speak. She said something along the lines of lesbian Jews, Buffy wasn't sure, she just knew that Faith had started to hold onto her hand tighter.

* * *

Thanks for all the support guys. Keep reading and reviewing, many thanks, Circus.


	16. The Man Sings About Romance

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this: The Yoko Factor especially for this update.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

16. The Man Sings About Romance

She sat on the back of the sofa, resting one foot on its arm to raise her knee. She kept positioning and repositioning herself trying to find the right angle. She moved her left hand up and down the neck but simply couldn't figure out the grip. In the end she simply cast the guitar aside and glared at the English man standing above her.

"If you want us to bond again, can't you just take me back to England?" she sighed, sending a distrustful look towards the instrument. "Music not my thing. I'll listen and I'll dance, hell I'll even bust out a couple out notes in the shower. But playing? Not for me." She stood up and headed towards the kitchen for a drink. "Come on," she peered at the man, soda in hand, leaning over the breakfast bar, "London was fun!"

"Yes," he agreed as he plumped the cushions she'd squashed with her feet, "but my father's unlikely to die again." He smiled sadly at her, picking up the guitar and sitting in her place. He strummed a couple of chords and turned back to her to see her sat on the counter, "Its easy."

She listened as he started to sing a Lynrd Skynrd song she vaguely recognised. She watched him, sat on the sofa, back to her, instrument in hand. He seemed at peace. A kind of calm she hadn't seen about him in a long while.

"You wait 'til he plays _Behind Blue Eyes_," she smiled at Spike, who was visibly disappointed he hadn't startled her. "That's wicked cool!" She swung her legs back over the counter so that she was once again in the kitchen. Spike watched as Giles sat down his guitar and Faith rummaged through the fridge. When she returned into the main room she flung a packet of blood at him. "I assume that's why you're here."

"Actually I'm here to speak to the Slayer." She gestured up and down her body as if to highlight her presence in the room. "Yeah," he nodded, before stepping past her and heading to the microwave. "The real one! Be a pet and give her a message for me would you?"

Giles took her by the back of the shirt to prevent her from following him into the kitchen and rising to his bait. "And what would this message be?"

"Information. Highly classified. Not cheap word-on-the-street prattle either. I'm talking about the good stuff now." Faith raised her eyebrows at the old man. "Its nothing I know." He clarified as the microwave timer went off. "What you think I'd come running over saying 'I've got a secret beat me 'til I talk'?"

"You spend a week in our bathtub doing exactly that." She reminded him, disconcerted that he'd chosen her favourite mug to pour his blood into.

"There's files; in the Initiative-"

"So," she shrugged leaning against the desk, "we'll get G.I. Joe to get them."

"Actually," Giles interjected, "Riley's no longer working for the Initiative." He removed his glasses and started to clean his lenses before Faith could catch his eye. He knew she'd be annoyed that she was only just finding out this piece of information. "Buffy didn't tell me why."

"And that," Spike pointed his mug of blood between the pair of them, "is exactly why I want to go straight to the source. These files need to be got now, I can't wait on the off chance Buffy comes check in with the retired librarian and Scary Spice-"

"You're right." Faith nodded. "Less talk more action." She took the remnants of his blood from his hand and placed it on the side, before pushing him towards the door. "You should go and find her right now." She shoved him out of the still open door and straight into the blinding midday sun. She smiled at Giles as she closed the door on him. "That felt good."

"I'm sure," he concurred picking up Spike's blanket to toss that out of the door after him. "He has a point though." He sighed, closing his front door once again.

"No he doesn't." Faith said walking around him and into the kitchen in search of some disinfectant for her mug. "Buffy's coming over in a bit. She called when you were in the shower." She explained further when he failed to say anything in response.

She started to gather things for washing up and busied herself in the kitchen. Her hands were covered in soapy water when the phone started ringing. She was still cleaning the dishes when Giles replaced the phone and walked round to start drying up.

"That was Buffy," he said, "she's cancelled. Something's come up. She didn't say what."

They finished the chore in silence. Giles busied himself with other household tasks and watched as Faith tried to slip out of the house unnoticed. The Englishman contemplated asking where she was going, but he already knew the answer: she was headed towards Buffy.

She walked to campus. The journey was long and tedious, but she had more appetite for walking nowadays. She was hoping that the five miles between the main town and the university might be enough to distance herself from Spike this morning. She was irritated at how quickly her confidence had been shaken by the two men. She was irritated at how easily she'd allowed it to be rocked.

As she approached the edge of town she thought about the past couple of weeks, about the progress the two of them had made. She and Buffy had definitely got closer. They hadn't really spoken about it though. Buffy would try. Faith would shut her down. Eventually Buffy just gave up.

Faith had to admit that Willow coming out about her relationship with Tara had definitely helped. It had put her at ease – no one had said anything, no one had judged. Even Giles, the stuffy Englishman stuck in his tweed and his books, had been fine about it. More than fine in fact. By the time she approached Stevenson Hall she had come to the realisation that it was probably fear that kept her from embracing Buffy.

Slut

Whore

Faggot

Dyke

She hated it when Buffy was right.

She'd always been sexually liberated as Diana had phrased it. Her foster mother had called her a slut as she'd tried to baptise the girl. Her father had called her a whore. Searching for love in the bed sheets. Easy and quick satisfaction. gratification. admiration. Get some, get gone.

She'd never slept with a woman though.

She'd never even considered it.

Yet here she was about to knock on her door, yell at her for something stupid. Make her angry. Make her hate her again. Make her push her away. All because she was considering it. And that terrified her.

All her life she'd craved normal. She turned on the TV and would watch happy families where their biggest arguments were about the health value of a breakfast cereal. She'd gone to school and overheard her classmates complaining because their parents were angry because they'd only got a C in math. That was normal meant to Faith. That's what she wanted so badly. She was never going to be normal.

She didn't bother knocking, simply twisted the handle and walked straight in. She found him there.

_I kissed riley_

"Hey ex boyfriend," Faith smiled at him in a way that instantly put him on edge, "you got a licence for those pants?"

"Xander hates me." He said by way of reply. "I wanted to check in with Buffy."

"Why you're neither her boy nor her inside man. What use could you possibly be?"

"Why must she want something from me?"

"Everybody always wants something." She said.

Buffy looked between the pair of them, their conversation had been too quick for her to interject at any point. Yet just as suddenly they were silent. Their eyes never strayed from the other; sizing the other up.

"Can I talk with Faith?" Buffy asked the boy eventually, he merely nodded. "Are you safe to return to the school?"

"Can't sneak up on a guy if he's listening in." he told her, holding up his walky-talky.

"You're the trickiest."

"Besides I've got to recharge the pants every two hours or they go dead on men." He told her leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"Okay then; see ya!" Faith held open the door long enough for him walk through it before slamming it shut behind him. She walked over to Willow's desk and avoided meeting Buffy's eyes by busying herself by rummaging through her papers.

"I assume you're here for a reason," Buffy asked her folding her arms across her, "other than the off chance you might be able to trade blows with Riley."

"Spike said he could get information."

"And this," she raised her eyebrows watching as Faith continued to avoid her eye, "couldn't be said over the phone?"

"What can I say," she replied with a shrug, "felt like a walk."

"You walked all the way to campus?"

"I was cooped up for so long-"

"Oh my God!" Buffy threw her hands in the air in exasperation, "Its always going to come back to this isn't it?" Faith frowned at her, leaning against the edge of Willow's desk. "Its always going to come down to me stabbing you." Buffy finished quietly.

Faith's head hung low but her eyes darted from the floor up to Buffy and then back to the floor. It was brief. It was gone almost before it had come, but Buffy had caught it.

She stood up and joined Faith leaning against the desk. They stood there side by side simply staring out of the window before Faith finally spoke.

"It has to be about you throwing me off that roof, otherwise its about me." Buffy turned her head to look at the younger girl besides her. "If its about me," Faith continued, "then its my fault and we draw attention to the fact I've never apologised to you."

She dropped down onto the chair. Buffy looked down at her before dropping to her knees and placing a hand on both of Faith's thighs.

"We killed that man and I couldn't deal. I chucked his body. Chucked it like he was nothing but trash. I returned to wash the blood – his blood – away and suddenly, and suddenly I'm spiralling like Lady Macbeth and…" she paused. She wanted to look at Buffy but knew that if she did she wouldn't be able to continue. "…you had this life; a mom, a house, family and friends and I had a mouldy motel room in the poor part of town."

"You," Faith started talking again as if she'd forgotten she had stopped, "you went into auto pilot. Went back into being in control. You have no idea what its like on the other side; where nothing's in control, where nothing makes sense! There is just pain and hate and nothing you do means anything…"

She didn't notice that Buffy's hands had slid around hers resting on her lap. She didn't notices that Buffy had pushed herself, up from resting on her heels, and was kneeling at full stretch so that they were almost eye to eye.

"I'm scared." Faith told her finally. "If we kiss, if something happens, I can never go home."

"To Giles?"

"To my father."

"Do you want to go back?"

"I want to kiss you again."

* * *

Please keep reading and reviewing, many thanks for all of your support. Circus.


	17. Old Stone

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this: The Yoko Factor, Primeval and Restless especially for this update.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

17. Old Stone

Buffy turned to the girl in her arms and brushed the hair from her face. She was sleeping now. She slowly extracted her arm from under her body and tried to climb off the bed as quietly as possible. She glanced at the phone on the bedside table and back at the sleeping girl on her bed. She walked out of the room and down the corridor to the communal phone. She was relieved to find a couple of quarters in her pocket and dialled Giles' number.

They spoke briefly and she found out more about what Spike had wanted all those hours ago. Promise him whatever, she sighed, Xander can deliver anything he needs. The Englishman enquired about Faith. I have her, she responded. She's safe. He rang off and allowed her to return to the girl asleep on her bed.

Buffy's intention had been to slip back into the room and back besides the girl without her absense noted, however, she found the younger girl awake and hugging her knees. Buffy closed the gap between them, sitting down besides Faith and taking her hand in her own.

"Now what?" Faith asked eventually.

"I have no idea."

Faith continued to stare at the wall. "I feel very naked." she said after a moment's pause. "and given I have my clothes on its odd."

"Come on," Buffy stood up and pulled the other girl by the hand. "We should head back, Giles is worried about you." Faith didn't move though, using her strength to pull Buffy towards her and brought her down for a kiss.

"Thank you." She said simply, finding it hard to meet her eyes.

She pulled Buffy closer still, kissing her passionately and started to explore her body with her roaming hands. It was the furtherest their relationship had progressed. In the physical sense at least. It was only when she made moves to remove Buffy's sweater did Buffy pull back. She looked at Faith searching her, trying desperately to get her to meet her eyes. Faith simply shot up off the bed and headed towards the door.

Sorry, she muttered. Didn't mean it.

Buffy's hand was on her wrist pulling her back to her, pulling her into an embrace. She finally found Faith's eyes. She wet her lips as she struggled to find the words that she so desperately needed to comfort the younger girl. In the end the she just held her.

Faith couldn't remember the last time she'd spoken so openly to another, but once she had started speaking she found it was very hard to stop. Suddenly she was naked before her other self and she didn't know what do to. She knew only one thing. People had taught her that they only wanted one thing. They only ever wanted one thing from her; so her mother warned her. So her father told her. So her foster parents scolded her.

Buffy had stayed quiet all the time Faith had spoken about her father, some of the fears and insecurities Buffy could relate to. Others put her own issues to shame. What was important was that she felt she understood the younger girl better now. She wondered if they had spoken so candidly before if they could have been friends. And they had been. Almost. Except for the fact that Buffy had held back.

Angel.

Buffy hadn't let the other girl get close to her. Buffy had taught Faith that she was just like everybody else. So Faith had treated her like everybody else. She had to show her that she wasn't. She led her back to the bed and sat them both down.

"Oz came back. Chased Tara. Got caught by the Initiative. Riley quit to help us. Oz left." Faith simply looked at the girl besides her and rearranged their bodies so they were leaning against the headboard. "Oh and different types of demons are tag teaming. Its like _Raw_ out there."

"Was that a wrestling reference?"

"I think so." Buffy said. "Don't tell anyone."

"What do you think's going on?"

"I don't know." Buffy shrugged. "Riley said the base is at full capacity, its like Ma-" she stopped when she noticed a reluctant smile crossing Faith's face besides her. "What?"

"I saw those army boys. They're not that good!"

"No." Buffy nodded. "They're not. You," she grabbed the girl by her face and pulled her closer, kissing her on the forehead, "are a genius."

* * *

Buffy paid for their bus fair back into town and they walked the short distance between the stop and Faith's home. Their hands had been entwined the entire time until they stepped into the courtyard at which point Faith pulled away and stuck her hands deep into her pockets.

She looked at Buffy, as if challenging her to comment on her actions, she was relieved that the blonde simply headed straight through the front door. She followed her in and looked around the room. Buffy had instinctively headed towards Giles, Xander and Anya had their heads buried in a couple of books as Willow and Tara stared down at the laptop on Giles' desk. Faith smiled at Tara's hand playing with the red hair of her lover.

"Its like the Matrix on that thing." Faith said, peering down at the screen.

"It's still encrypted." Willow replied tersely.

"Willow's been working really hard on it, though." Tara told her.

"Wow," Faith said, stepping back from the pair, "you don't have to be so defensive! I can barely send email seeing you work your mojo on this thing is incredible." She dropped down onto her knees and leant in close again. "Can you teach me how to play _Sims_?"

"Can you wait for her uncrypt it?" Buffy asked Faith joining the three of them around the small screen. "How long before you… uncrypt it?"

"Hours. Days, maybe. Anyone suggesting months would not be accused of crazy talk." Willow slapped away Faith's hand that was dangerously close to touching a couple of the keys.

"Just wanted to see what would happen." She apologised sheepishly. "But hey!" she pointed at the screen and at the text transforming from a hybrid of Choctaw, Greek and Russian letters into something intelligible. "And you think I need my GED!" She smiled at Giles as she stood up.

"You're still returning to school this autumn." He told her, cup of tea in hand peering over the crowd of girls.

"No. No. No." Willow turned and looked around at everyone gathered round her. "I mean, yippie! we have the information."

"So its decoded?" Xander asked, triumphantly closing his book.

"Yeah," Willow sighed, "That's so annoying. It's like someone blurting out the answer to a riddle just when you… I mean, yippie! we have the information." She repeated.

"Yeah if you want the information to be about Adam building a bunch of creepy cyberdemonoids." Anya pointed at the translated text. "Then yippie!"

"Faith worked out that the demons around here are being a little too easy to catch-"

"Adam's creating a Trojan Horse?" Giles interrupted Buffy.

"The demons are going to attack the Initiative from inside." She nodded back at him.

"Demons versus soldiers. Massacre, massacre." Xander sighed, putting an arm around Anya protectively.

"And Adam gets neat piles of parts to start building his army. Diabolical yet… gross!" Willow continued.

Faith looked around the group of serious faces staring down at the computer screen. "Kinda makes you miss the Mayor," she smiled weakly at them all.

"Yeah," Anya nodded, "he just wanted to be a big snake."

"I've not been to many of these meetings," Tara interjected, raising her hand as she did so, trying to detract away from the awkward silence that had fallen over them, "but shouldn't this be the part where we come up with a plan?"

* * *

Xander smiled proudly at everyone congregated in the living room, at the girls sat either on or around the sofa and the Englishman on the comfy chair. He showed them the popcorn and his smile broadened.

"Are you going to join us Mrs S?" Faith asked Joyce who was leaning against the door frame.

"No, you guys have your fun. I'm tired…" she smiled back at the girl she hadn't seen since the Christmas before, "I can't believe you guys aren't exhausted." She leant in closer to her, "Have they even slept since…"

Faith shook her head, "Apparently it was quite a buzz. From the energy they were giving off – man, I haven't got that high since…" she suddenly remembered who she was speaking to and the people she was with, "I mean I've never got high, but I imagine it would feel like that, if I had. Not that I have. Or would."

Buffy simply patted her knee while Joyce bid them all goodnight. She could be heard heading up the stairs as everyone made sure they were completely comfortable and Xander slid in the video into the VCR.

Faith looked around the group of them and couldn't believe that she was amongst them. It seemed so long ago she'd been fighting against them all. It felt like an eternity since she'd been lying in a hospital bed told that her legs were unlikely to ever work again. She had been broken and alone. But a man had come to her hoping she would let him fix her. Better the devil, she'd shrugged as she'd signed the paperwork.

She looked at him, settling himself into the chair complaining to Xander about his choice of rentals. She had lost everything and yet he'd found a way to give it all back to her. Buffy joined in the film debate and Faith simply watched her as she spoke so animatedly and passionately about the cinematic merits of _Clueless_. Faith didn't know what was happening between them, but she was learning to trust herself enough to stand in the way of her instincts – not to run away from it.

As the four of them had defeated Adam, Faith had worked tirelessly to protect them all while they were in their trance. As the five of them ascended from the Initiative's lair Faith had once again asked 'Now what?' it was Buffy who settled on an 'old school movie night' Faith merely smiled when Willow asked her what she'd wanted to watch.

She didn't see anything past the FBI warning as she finally succumbed to sleep. She didn't have to worry about anyone catching her head on Buffy's shoulder though, as they, too, were all fast asleep.

* * *

Reaching the home strech now guys. Many thanks for all your support. Circus.


	18. Dreaming

Summary: Faith didn't slip into a coma after the fight scene in Graduation Day Part 1. This is an AU season 4 as a consequence.

A/N: I strongly recommend a good understanding of season 4 to follow this: Restless especially for this update.

Disclaimer:Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, 20th Century Fox, UPN and WB Television Networks own the television shows, "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" and "Angel". Dark Horse and IDW own the Comics. No copyright infringement is intended, no money is being earned by myself. The title of each chapter, and the story as a whole, come from Laura Marling songs/Album titles. I've been listening to her on repeat recently and I find her very fitting for Buffyverse.

I would love to hear your thoughts on my thoughts. Many thanks.

* * *

18. Dreaming

He swung his father's pocket watch back and forth before her face. "You have to stop thinking." He told her. "Let it wash over you."

"Don't you think it's a little old-fashioned?" Buffy asked him.

"I want to play, I want to play." A girl bounced behind her.

"Hush now Faith." He scolded her. "Daddy's working. Now," Giles returned his attention to Buffy, "this is the way women and men have behaved since the beginning…" he trailed off when he saw Faith drawing on his wall. "Faith!" he told her again. "I don't have time for you." He went back to swinging the watch in front of Buffy, "...before time. Now look into the light."

Faith moved across the empty room and pulled Giles by the hand, the watch dropped to the floor as he was taken from his home into the night. Faith ran off ahead of him and left Buffy to pull him through the crowd of people at the carnival.

"You should go after her Rupert." Olivia told him. "Its not safe for a young girl out at night."

"I don't have time."

"Come on! Come on!" Buffy pressed him forward, pulling him towards a stall. "We're gonna miss all the good stuff."

"Why doesn't the other one want to train this badly?" Olivia asked him.

"Well, it appears she's never heard the fable about lethargy."

"Which one is that?"

"The, the one about the fox, and the, uh, lethargic fox."

"Here," Buffy stopped and pointed to one of the games, "I want to, I want to!"

"Yes, go ahead."

He watched as Buffy held a small yellow ball and prepared to throw it at a dummy of a girl bouncing up and down. He could only watch as the ball sailed past its target.

"Buffy, you have a sacred birthright to protect mankind." He sighed, "Don't stick out your elbow." Buffy threw another ball and it hid the dummy in the stomach. He watched as the toy girl started bleeding from her stomach. Buffy spun round to look at him an expectant smile across her face. "I haven't got any treats."

"For god's sake, Rupert," Olivia scolded him, "go easy on the girls."

"This is my business. Blood of the lamb and all that." He turned to Buffy eating her candy floss. "Oh, now you're gonna get that all over your face. And you," he pointed to Faith, "you're getting blood everywhere."

"Hey!" Giles turned towards Spike in the distance. "Come on!" he continued to call, gesturing into his crypt, "You're gonna miss everything!"

Giles walked in and rolled his eyes at Faith crying at a grave.

"Don't push me around. You know I have a great deal to do." He told her walking past her and towards the vampire.

"I've hired myself out as an attraction." He explained, striking a pose for all the photographers.

"Side show freak?" Giles questioned before glancing back at the crying girl.

"Well, at least it's showbiz." Spike shrugged before posing again.

"What am I supposed to do with all of this?"

"You gotta make up your mind, Rupes." Spike said. "What are you wasting your time for? Haven't you figured it all out yet, with your enormous squishy frontal lobes?"

"I should of let Faith kill you." Giles sighed walking through the crypt.

"Would you though?" Spike stopped. "Let her kill again?"

Giles was about to reply but a bald man stepped in his path.

"I wear the cheese. It does not wear me."

"Honestly, you meet the most appalling sorts of people." he complained walking out of the back of Spikes home and into the Bronze. He made his way through the crowd and found Willow and Xander.

"I'm so sorry I'm late. There's a great deal going on. And all at once!"

"Don't we know it." Willow nodded. "Only at death's door over here, look at Xander!"

"Got the sucking chest wound swingin'." He smiled. "I promised Anya I'd be there for her big night." Giles looked up to see his girlfriend in the spot light on the stage. "Now I'll probably be pushing up daisies, in the sense of being in the ground underneath them and fertilising the soil with decomposition."

"Okay. A man ... walks into the office of a doctor. He's wearing on his head, um... Wait, there's, there's a, there's a duck-"

"Do you know this is your fault?" Willow asked him.

"We have to think of the facts, Willow. I'm very busy. I have a gig myself, you know."

"Something's after us." She pressed on. "It's, uh, like some primal... some animal force."

"That used to be us."

"Don't get linear on me now, man." Xander scolded him.

"Rupert." Willow took his attention away from Anya on stage. "You've got to focus. You must have some kind of explanation. If we don't know what we're fighting, I don't think we stand a chance."

"It's strange, it's not like anything we've faced before." Giles started to sing as he approached the stage, "It seems familiar somehow. Of course!" Giles sang down to the crowd in the Bronze. "The spell we cast with Buffy must have released some primal evil that's come back seeking," he removed his classes as he continued singing, "I'm not sure what. Willow, look through the chronicles for some reference to a warrior beast. I've got to warn the girls, there's every chance they might be next. Xander, help Willow and try not to bleed on my couch I've just had it steam-cleaned. No, wait-" he cut himself off when feedback radiated from the microphone. He dropped to his knees and followed the mic cord backstage. As he found a mess of cables he pulled out his father's watch from amongst them.

"Well, that was obvious." He looked up to find a black girl with matted hair staring down at him. "I know who you are. And I can defeat you with my intellect. I can cripple you with my thoughts. Of course, you underestimate me. You couldn't know." He found his voice faltering as the girl started to scalp him. He felt the blood pouring down his face. "You never had a Watcher."

* * *

Faith looked around Buffy's dorm room, she blushed slightly when she realised she had interrupted Tara and Willow. She looked from them to their clothes scattered on the floor and suddenly out of the window.

"Its easy," she turned to see that Tara had addressed her rather than Willow, "I've never done it myself but Will promises she doesn't even miss it." Tara continued as Willow nipped at her ear lobe.

"Yeah, well," Faith shrugged turning back to the desert outside the window, "my dad wouldn't approve."

"Which one?" Willow asked between placing kisses on Tara's neck.

"I don't know."

"My father doesn't like it." Tara told her, climbing out of the bed and joining her by the window. Faith jumped when she discovered just how close Tara was and found her body being explored by the other girl's hands. "The trick is to get away. Then you're free."

Faith turned from the window and found she was embarrassed by Tara's close proximity, she looked to Willow for reassurance but found she was simply patting the space where Tara had been.

"I'm going to go. Leave you."

"Yeah," Willow nodded, moving to the edge of the bed so she was closer to Tara again. "Go find Buffy."

Faith slipped out the room and stood in her own corridor rather than that of Stevenson Hall. She followed the passage until she was in her living room, she found she was watching her father, Richard Wilkins and Rupert Giles playing cards.

"Dads?"

"Oh good," Richard smiled at her, "you're just in time for the next hand."

Her father dealt her into the game as she sat cross legged around the coffee table with the three men. She picked up her hand and found that the cards were trading cards. She looked at each one, she held a card depicting herself in her graduation dress, one of her in a wheelchair, one of her as a small child.

"Oh I don't have that one." Her father told her, taking the wheelchair card from her hand. "Trade you for _Red Sox Faith_!"

"I've got two _Killer Faiths_ if anyone wants one." Giles smiled at the group.

"I've got nothing but _Killer Faiths_," Buffy sighed joining them around the table. "I swear every pack I open its just _Killer Faith_, _Killer Faith_, _Killer Faith_." She dropped her deck on the table and Faith saw a dozen cards with herself on, all of them dressed in a white top and a black Gilet.

"Brilliant." Richard smiled at them all, "I love _Killer Faith_, her special attacks are super effective."

Faith pushed her own cards away from them. "Sorry Dads, I've got to go." The three men all responded as once as she stood up to leave. She headed to the front door and heard the game resume without her. She grabbed her coat from the rack by the door and was about to slip out when a bald man appeared with a briefcase. He smiled as he opened the case to reveal lines and lines of neatly arranged squares of cheese.

She dodged passed him, out of the door and into a class room. She looked down and was surprised to see she was dressed in a plaid skirt and a blue blazer, she looked around at all the other girls, all identically dressed, sat in their seats.

"You're late. That's sloppy." Gwendolyn Post complained to her. "A sloppy slayer is a dead slayer." She pointed to an empty seat in the front row and returned to writing on the black board. "Now, who can tell me about the Spartans?" she asked the class.

Hands shot up all around her, Faith could only look around them all confused.

"Faith?" Miss Post held out the chalk for her to write the answer on the board.

Faith was just about to place the chalk to the board when an announcement rang out from the school's PA system.

"_By order of the Watcher's Council of Britain_," Wesley's voice called round the room, "_school is recessed for the summer_."

Faith was suddenly knocked off her feet. She tried to fight against it but it was too strong. She looked up and found a black girl with matted hair pinning her down. She tried to fight against her but she was too strong. "Do I know you?" was all she could muster.

* * *

"Buffy, you have to wake up right away!"

"I'm not really in charge of these things." Buffy closed her eyes again and willed Anya to be quiet.

"Please wake up. Oh please."

"I need my beauty sleep. So stop it, okay?" She rolled over onto her back and found a black girl with mottled hair handing from her ceiling. Instinctively she closed her eyes, willing the creature to go away. When she opened them again she was back in her old bed in her old room.

"Faith and I just made that bed." She complained, standing looking at the ruffled sheets.

"For who?" Tara asked.

"I thought you were here to tell me." She looked at Tara before looking around her room. "Faith's not here is she?" She leaned in close to the other girl. "I think we're starting a relationship."

"You lost her?"

"No." She shook her head. "No. I think she- they need me to find them." She glanced at the clock on her bedside table. "It's so late."

"Oh that clock's completely wrong. Here." Tara held out her hand and passed her the Tarot card, _Manus_, the hands.

"I'm never gonna use those."

"You think you know; what's to come; what you are. She hasn't even begun."

"I think I need to go find Fai- the others." Buffy told her sending a fleeting glance to her freshly made bed. _Be back before dawn_.

She walked down the one of the university corridors. Looking amongst all the faces for one she recognised. She continued down the hall until she caught something out of the corner of her eye.

"Mom?"

"Oh, hi, honey." She smiled at her from a hole in the wall.

"Why are you living in the walls?"

"Oh, sweetie, no, I'm fine here. Don't worry about me."

"It looks dirty." Buffy frowned at her, trying to get a glimpse of the space around her.

"Well, it seems that way to you." Her mother smiled at her. "I made some lemonade, and I'm learning how to play mahjongg. You go find your friends; your girlfriend."

"Mom!" Buffy blushed and tucked a couple of hairs behind her ear.

"Its okay. We've all experimented. Before I met your father I-"

"_MOM!_" She stopped herself from saying anything more when she found her mother was laughing at her.

"I-I'm sorry, dear." She continued to giggle at her. "A mouse is playing with my knees."

"I really don't think you should live in there..." She trailed off when she spotted Faith walking up the stairs to the second floor of the building.

"Well you could probably break through the wall." Buffy didn't catch any more of what her mother said though as she tried to catch up with Faith. She continued through the corridors until she found two people sat at a table in the Initiative.

"Hey there, killer." Riley smiled at her.

She ignored him though and turned her attention to the other at the table. "Faith," she smiled, "I've been looking for you."

"I've been here the whole time, B. How hard did you look?" She said. "Riley and I are drawing up a plan for world domination."

"The key element?" The boy smiled. "Coffeemakers that think."

"World domination?" she frowned at the pair of them. "I-is that a good?"

"Baby," Faith smile broadened, "we're the government."

"_You're_ the government?"

"Yeah," stood up and went over to the map on the wall. She pulled down a picture of a brain scan. "I got a chip in my head. Now I'm harmless."

"You don't need a chip in your head."

"She's uncomfortable with certain concepts." Riley explained to Faith. "It's understandable. Aggression is a natural human tendency." He looked back to Buffy. "Though you both do it a little differently."

"Did you just wink?" Buffy frowned at him. "You don't wink. You never-"

"_The demons have escaped. Please run for your lives._" Buffy looked around for the source of the voice but found that Riley and Faith had jumped up and were readying themselves for action.

"This could be trouble." Faith told him.

"We better make a fort."

"I'll get some pillows." She agreed before the both headed off.

"Wait!" Buffy called out after them finding a bag by her feet. "I have weapons!" She knelt down and opened the bag, but finding nothing but mud inside abandoned it and headed out after the pair of them.

She followed them down the corridor but found herself in the desert. She looked around but could only see Tara.

"Have you seen Faith?"

"Of course not." She replied, "That's the reason you came."

"You're not in my dream."

"I was borrowed. Someone has to speak for her."

"Let her speak for herself." She told Tara turning her attention to the black girl with mottled hair. "That's what's done in polite circles." She sighed as the stranger started to circle her. "Why do you follow me?"

"I don't." Tara said as the girl shook her head.

"Where are my friends?"

"You're asking the wrong questions."

"Make her speak."

"I have no speech. No name. I live in the action of death, the blood cry, the penetrating wound. I am destruction. Absolute ... alone."

"The Slayer." Buffy realised with a sigh.

"The first."

"She is not alone." Buffy said.

"The Slayer does not walk in this world."

"She walks. She talks. She dances, she sneezes. She'll to be a fireman when the floods roll back. There's trees in the desert since you moved out. And she doesn't sleep on a bed of bones."

"Now give me back my friends." Buffy said, her voice once again her own.

"No friends! Just the kill." The slayer told her. "We. Are. Alone!"

A bald man leant in between herself and her predecessor waving two squares of cheese in her face.

"That's it." Buffy sighed, turning away from them all. "I'm waking up."

She was knocked from her feet by the Slayer and they rolled in the desert sand. Buffy found her footing and started to fight, taking control of the battle. Taking control of the war.

"It's over." Buffy told her. "We don't do this any more. Enough!" Buffy looked around and took in her mother's living room. Her friends, her Watcher, Faith sleeping around her. She stood up just to be knocked back to the floor.

The slayer leapt on top of her and started to stab her repeatedly in the abdomen.

"Are you quite finished?" Buffy asked her with a roll of her eyes, pushing her from her. "It's over, okay? I'm going to ignore you, and you're going to go away." She got to her feet and brushed herself down as she started to walk back to the sofa. "You're really gonna have to get over the whole primal power thing." She turned to face her before sitting down again, "You're not the source of me," she took in Faith sleeping besides Willow, "of her." She picked up the blanket and settled herself back in. "Also, in terms of hair care, you really want to say, what kind of impression am I making in the workplace? 'Cause-"

She opened her eyes and looked back around the room, she let out a sigh of relief when she saw her Watcher, her friends, her… Faith… stirring around her.

* * *

"The First Slayer." Willow looked around the dining room table at them all. "Wow."

"Not big with the socialisation." Xander nodded.

"Or the clothes." Faith added.

"Somehow our joining with Buffy and invoking the essence of the, the Slayer's power was an affront to the source of that power. Faith," he turned to her, "I can only imagine you got trapped with us as you're where the slayer line lies."

"Me?" She frowned back at him.

"You are the active slayer." He nodded adding a smile to reassure.

"You know," Buffy interjected, thinking about what Giles had said previously, "you could have warned us about the affrontage before we did it." Buffy scolded him.

"I did. I said there could be dire consequences."

"Yeah, but you say that to me about watching too much TV." Faith said pushing her chair back, suddenly finding the room very confining. "Mind if I grab a shower, B?"

"Come on," she took the girl by the hand and led her by the hand, "I'll find you some towels. So what did you dream about?" she asked her once they'd reached the top of the stairs.

"Willow and Tara. My three dads." Faith shrugged. "The usual."

"You usually dream about Willow and Tara?" Buffy smiled at her. Faith simply rolled her eyes at the smaller girl as she was handed some towels. "I dreamt about you." Buffy told her eventually. "I couldn't find you."

"You were looking for me?"

"Yeah."

"Cool."

"That's it, cool?"

"For now." Faith moved in and brushed her lips against the side of Buffy's cheek before she stepped into the bathroom.

Buffy touched her cheek, then the closed door and thought about the girl the other side of it. For now. That would do, for now. She caught a glimpse of her bedroom out of the corner of her eye, she approached her room and looked back inside it. It hadn't changed.

_You think you know; what's to come; what you are. She hasn't even begun_.

She turned back to the bathroom, she could hear water running behind the door. It hadn't even begun for her; yet.

* * *

Thank you all very much. I had a lot of fun with this story. I hope you enjoyed reading it.  
Please let me know what you thought, good or bad - all feedback is greatly appriciated.  
Many thanks, circusfreak88


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